You with me
by MonroesAudrey
Summary: The heartbreaking story of Lou and Will with a different twist. This story begins after the Vacation at the annexe and is followed by drama, heartbreak, love and happiness. I hope you like it!
1. Chapter 1

**A book or a movie never broke my heart the way "Me after you" did. This is my version that I needed to write to get some resentment that in some version there is a happy ending for Lou and Will.**

 **Forgive me for my typos and mistakes. English is not my native language.**

 **The charachters belong to Jojo Moyes.**

"You have to let me go, Clark" Will said with a very calm voice.

Lou looked out of the window. Around her everything seemed the same. The annexe was as they left it. The garden outside was still beautiful. Will was still here in a wheelchair. Everything seemed the same, but nothing was. Will would soon leave for Switzerland, the annexe will be empty and the garden will never be as beautiful as it was now. Without him life will never be beautiful again.

"I made my decision a long time ago" he was looking at her, she was still captured by the garden. Her silence made him nervous. It was not something he was used from her.

"I thought our love for each other would be able to change your mind" Lou finally spoke up in a tone of voice that was a little higher than a gentle whisper "I thought I could be enough for you"

Will's heart broke looking at her like that. He wanted to capture her face. He desparetly wanted her to look at him.

"You are a one of a kind woman, Clark. You deserve someone who will be able to give you things that I never could. Not in my condition. This is what I want. You have to respect that"

"I know what you mean" she whispered while she finally turned her head around and looked at him. The room was dark. Outside the sky was getting ready for a thunderstorm "I am not enough for you, Will. I am not good enough for you to take a chance on me. I am not one of the sofisticated tall blondes with expensive parfumes and nice clothes ready to have an adventure"

"Clark! How can you say such a thing" Will couldn't believe his ears. "Is that what you really think? The past six months you were the only thing that kept me going. I love you, Clark. I love you! 10 tall blondes wouldn't be able to replace you"

Louisa never got mad in her life. At least not really mad. Not the way they do it in the movies. But now anger was in every pore of her body. How could he do that to her? How could he easily let her go like that. Before she knew, she started yelling. She yelled so loud her whole body started to shake. Tears started to run down her face.

"YOU ARE A LIAR, WILL TRAYNOR. YOU ARE A COWARD AND A LIAR. YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT NOTHING THAN YOURSELF. YOU HAVE LET ME FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU, ONLY TO TELL ME YOU ARE GIVING UP ON LIFE. YOU DONT LOVE ME. YOU DONT KNOW WHAT LOVE IS. IF YOU WOULD LOVE ME, YOU WOULD NEVER HURT ME LIKE THIS. YOU ARE A COWARD. YOU DIDN'T ONLY GIVE UP ON YOURSELF, YOU GAVE UP ON ME TOO. YOU GAVE UP ON US. I WISH THAT I HAVE NEVER MET YOU!" She couldnt help herself. All the sadness, all the anger inside her, came out all at once. She hit the table in front her so strongly it overturned on the floor. Lou took one last look at Will who stared at her in shock with his mouth wide open then she run out and disapeared in the darkness followed by the sound of distant thunder.

"Clark! Clark!" Will managed to overcome the shock her words put him in and to yell after her. "Clark!" He desparetly tried one more time even if he knew she was long gone. Her words hit him hard. She was enough. She was more than enough. All this months he wanted to be with her. When he lied down to bed at night he was finally looking foward to the morning cause she would be there with her quirky clothes and beautiful smile. The nightmares were gone. Life was beautiful again. He was more alive with her than he has been ever before. He wanted to live again. But he couldn't put her through this. She didn't deserve to be tight up to a man who was not able to give her all what she deserves. Warm tears of desperation started to fall down from his eyes. His head started to spin. She would never be happy with someone like him. He smashed the vase on the counter with his hands.

With both of his hands.


	2. Chapter 2

Louisa stormed out of the door. She wasn't even looking where she was going. All she wanted was to get away. As long as she kept running and moving foward things couldn't be as bad. If she kept running she would not fall apart. If she just kept going pieces of her heart and soul would not get shattered around her. A huge lightening made her presence clear above in the sky followed by the loud crashing sound of thunder. She could imagine that was the sound of her broken soul begging for help in a hopeless situation. She could feel the first few raindrops touching her body. It didn't took long untill the few raindrops turned into a heavy storm. She didn't mind. That way she could hide the tears that were falling down her face. Her entire body was soaking wet. Her heels were not suited for a run and God knew she was not the most athletic person, if athletic at all, but that didn't mather anymore. She couldn't stop.

She broke down on her knees when she reached her house. Time was flying by and she got lost in the rain and her tears. If she goes in she would have to face her family and talk about Will. But chatty Louisa was burried somewhere deep down, she wanted to do everything except talking. She found some strength to get up. Slowly and carefully she entered her house.

"Lou! Oh my goodness! Lou! Look at yourself. You are soaking wet. Let me get you a towel" her mothers loud voice bothered her more than it should "Tell me. What happened? How did it go" it didn't took her long to realise it didn't go anywhere "Oh, my sweetheart. Let me make you a cup of tea" her mom said with a gentle voice and an understanding face expression.

"Is that Lou?" She could hear her fathers voice entering the small hallway. "What happened?" He asked the second he saw her miserably standing all wet from the bottom to the top. "Lou! Louisa! Talk to us!"

Her soul was torn apart. She felt dead inside. Soulless. Heartless. Her heart and soul gave up the second she was aware that she was not enough to keep Will Traynor living. Now she was just a body. A presence that reminded of her former self. She couldn't help but wonder if that was how Will felt day after day.

"I can't stay here" a robotic voice said. A voice that reminded of hers but it felt nothing like hers "I have to get away from here. I have to go as far away as I can" Lou run up to her room and started packing. She wasn't even paying attention what she was throwing into her suitcase.

A knock on the door disturbed the silence. Her parents entered carefully the small bedroom.

"I can't stay here. No mather what you say I can't be around here" she jumped in before they had a chance to say anything.

"We know, darling. We will not try to convince you otherwise" her dad hugged her. Lou fell apart once again in the comforting arms of her father"

"Promise me something" Lou whispered through her tears.

"Anything for you"

"Don't let them find me. If they ever call searching for me, don't let them know where I am. The Traynors, Nathan. No one. I just can't handle it now."

A little while later Lou left her house with a big yellow suitcase in her hand. She didn't know where she was going but she knew she couldn't stay here where every corner screamed - Will Traynor was here.


	3. Chapter 3

Will Traynor looked at his bloody hands wich were resting motionless on his lap. The shattered pieces of the vase that were spreaded on the floor around him were evidence that what just happened was not a dream. Clark's words were stuck in his head like a painfull echo. _I am not good enough. You are a coward, Will Traynor. You don't know what love is._

It was true, he had no clue what true love was before she entered his life. Oh, and they way she entered. So lively and full of collor. Loud and clumsy. Chatty and extroardinary. Even before the accident his life was grey, compared to the life he was living with her. It took him so long to understand that. He thought he loved himself and his entitled lifestyle but the truth is, it might have been fullfiled with travels and adventures but when you scratched on the surface you realise how empty it was. She was enough, she was the first day she entered that morning into his life. Even when he wanted to hate her, he loved her, probably from the first second when she smiled at him.

But one thing she got right. He was a bloody coward.

"What the hell happened here?" a soaked Nathan entered the Room with a broken umbrella in his hands. Nathan didn't know where to look first. At the broken vase, the overturned table or Will's bloody hands. "God, Will. Are u alright?" The umbrella fell out of his hands from the shock that overcame him while looking at the broken scene around him. He rushed to Will and kneeled in front of him. With a very carefull gesture he took Will's hands to have a closer look. What he saw was nearly impossible "But... But how?" he stuttered.

"I dont know, Nathan. I dont know" Will's sarcastic nature and his cold fasade were gone.

"Will, what in the world happened here?" Nathan barely overcame his shock and started cleaning Will's wounds.

"Clark and I... We..." Will took a deep breath and tried to overcame the stutter "we had a huge fight. She told me she wasn't good enough. That I don't love her. She cried and yelled, than she hit the table and it fell over. Before I was able to say something she stormed out of the door. Than... Than..." His voice stuttered even more "than I smashed the Vase with my hands."

Nathan didn't say anything. He stared at Will with a very serious expression.

"Say something" Will desperately grabbed Nathans wet jacket. Both of them looked at his hands that wouldn't let go of the blue jacket. "What is happening with me"

"Will" Nathan started carefully "I can't be 100% sure. Maybe it is just an adrenaline rush from the fight you just had. Maybe its just a one time thing or a two time thing, I guess. Maybe it is something bigger. But we definitely need to go to see the Doctor right now"

"I couldn't possibly care less about seeing a doctor. What I want is to see Clark. Right now. You need to drive me to see her. Right now, Nathan."

Nathan didn't say anything. He stood up and picked up the table. The shattered pieces of the broken vase he carefully cleaned up with a broom.

"Say something!" Will yelled at him.

Nathan took a deep breath "Listen Will. I dont know what is going on in your mind right now. You know that I want you to live, but only if you want to live. You mean everything to that girl and you know that she means more than your life to you. I saw that the first second she entered in here. I can't be certain with what is going on with your hands and I dont want you to get your hopes up. But if you are still sure you want to go to Switzerland you need to let go of her. From what I see here, she is in extreme emotional pain and as much as you want to help her, you can't. Unless you changed your mind"

"I can't let her go. Not while she believes that she is not good enough. If anything in this world is good enough, its her" Will started to cry once again "I can't give her the life she deserves. What kind of a man would I be if I let an extroardinary woman like that to be tight up to a man like me"

"You would be a worse man if you wouldn't let her to be tight up to you" Nathan said with a smile on his face "Let's go. I'll drive you"

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The Clarks where tossing and turning in bed. It wasn't a peacfull night. The thought of a man they knew that would end his life where heartbreaking. The thought of their daughter suffering because of that man where even more painfull. It was a long sad day when they hugged their daughter goodbye. The already sleepless night was interupted with the loud ring of the bell at the door. When they rushed down to open the door for a second both of them thought that their beloved daughter changed her mind and came back home. But instead of her on the other side of the door where Will and Nathan.

"I need to talk to Lou" Will shouted out immediately.

"I am so sorry, Will. Lou left. She didn't want to tell us where she was going _"_

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On the other side of the town a young woman with a yellow suitcase was waiting for her train _. 5 minutes delay_ the display said _._

 _Soon._ She tought. _Soon_ , _I'll_ _leave_ _all_ _the_ _sad_ _memories_ _behind_ _in_ _this place._


	4. Chapter 4

"What do you mean she left?" Will shouted at the Clark's.

"Will..." Joyces voice almost broke down while looking at Will. She couldn't handle the sadness of the situation. "She came home upset and she decided to leave. There was nothing we could have done to change her mind"

"Come in, you two. I dont think this is a conversation we should have at the front door" Bernard took a step behind and showed them in with a hand gesture. Will and Nathan followed him into the living room. The same room they used to open Louisas birthday presents.

"Where did she go?" Will was desperate.

"Bus station, Train station, perhaps. We don't know, we promised not to interfere" Bernard answered him and Will realised how hard that decision was for him but that didn't help to make him less angrier.

"How could you let her go like that? We have to call her" Will couldn't hold in the desperation.

"She left her phone. She didn't want to be reachable. She promised she will call once she was settled"

"You let her leave without a phone. What is wrong with you?"

"We didn't had a choice" Joyce broke down shouting at Will. "You broke her with your decision, Will. You broke our daughter because you are selfish. You should have seen her."

"But I am here now to make it right" Will looked at them hoping for a miracle.

"There is nothing you can do anymore. You two should leave now" Bernard said while comforting his crying wife.

"There are no night bus lines that go from here, she must have gone to the train station. Let's go, mate" Nathan stood up as fast as he could and sprinted to the car almost leaving Will behind.

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The train station was mostly dark except for some dim lights that where coming from the empty waiting room that wasn't much warmer than the night itself on the outside. It was a cold summer storm. Nothing unusal for late August. No one was seen around except for one colorfull presence with a bright yellow suitcase that was staring at something far in the distance. Louisa Clark's presence felt so wrong at this place. Someone so bright didn't belong on a shabby station like this. She was shievering from the cold. She wished she would have worn something more appropriate than a longslieved dress that resembled a style more suitable for a woman that lived in the 1960s and her favorite heels with white dots. But was there really an appropriate piece of clothing that was suitable to wear on the day the love of your life broke your heart and smashed it into million pieces. Because this was not a cold summer day for Louisa, this will forever be marked as the day a big piece of her died inside and changed her forever.

Out of habit, she wanted to check the time on her phone. Than she remembered, she left it at home. She didn't want to take the chance that anyone could be able to reach her. Not yet.

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The two man where having an invisible race. A race with time. Nathan was driving as fast as he could, ocasionally breaking a few laws. Both of them where silently staring at the road in front of them. Even though it was cold outside sweat was running down of their faces. The bloody station never seemed more far away.

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The old train stopped in front of her. Without hestitation and full of confiedence she entered the wagon and sat down on an empty seat. Ironically, if she don't count the vacation with Will, and God knew, she didn't want to count it, this was the first time she was leaving her home. A home she had for 27 years. A town that she used to love. A place that used to give her so much comfort with his familiarity. _Used_ _to_.

She wasn't going anywhere fancy. Not to a place that Will Traynor would ever approve, but Will Traynor and his oppinions didn't mather anymore and they never will again. Louisa wasn't scared of the unknown in front of her. She was actually looking foward to it. Everything was better than living in a constant reminder of her own faliure. The reminder that she was not good enough for Will Traynor. Her whole life she was under the shadow of her sister, she tend to make her feel worth less, even if it was not her intention. Treena was just better in many things. With Will she never felt inferior, not worth less, at least not untill tonight. She genuinely believed that they, Will and Clark, meant something more. She believed with her whole heart that the love they felt for each other where good enough for him. What a naive fool she was.

The train started to move. She took one last glance at her hometown. A town she never planned to return again.

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Will Traynor shouted out a loud "NO" when he saw the train disapearing into the rainy night right in front of his nose.


	5. Chapter 5

Louisa Clark opened her eyes while she awakened from a dream about the Swiss Alpes that she would forgot about a few seconds later. It took her a few moments to realise where she was. Outside the sun was slowly rising and lightening up the wagon. It was early in the morning. The bright light bothered her eyes but she didn't want to cover the greasy window with blinds. The landscape outside was to beautiful to miss out on it.

When she left home last night, she traveled to London, where she transfered to a train for Dangby. From there she will have a short bus ride to Staithes wich will be her final destination. She wasn't really sure why she chosed Staithes from all places in the world, she remembered seeing some adds about villages in the United Kingdom and for some reason Staithes stucked in her mind. It was far enough from home. It looked like a good place to start over. Somewhere where no one knew her. Somewhere where she wont be Will's pitty project or Treena's underachiever sister. She will be just Lou. A new girl in town. Money will be tight, she will have to find a job as soon as possible. Not finding one is not an option. There is no way she would return home. She would rather be homeless.

In a few days Will will be dead. Somewhere in the Swiss Alpes he will take his final breath and leave this world. Leave his annexe, their hometown, the castle with the bloody maze. Leave her. But he already left her. A warm tear run down her face. Louisa shook her head. No, she thought. There will be no place in my head for Will Traynor anymore. She did what she could. She cared and loved him. Showed him the potentials of their lifes together. It just wasn't enough for him. He craved for something and someone else. She forgave herself for failing.

A little while later Louisa Clark arrived at Staithes. She wandered through the charming village untill she found a bed and breakfast. She entered in and in her own fashion she almost knocked down a counter with her suitcase. A young man apperad at the desk and with a big friendly smile he said "Well, if that isn't an entrace"

Louisa blushed "I am sorry. Coordination isn't one of my best features, especially not when I am dragging a huge suitcase around"

He obeservered her for a second and than he said "By the size of it I am assuming you are planing to stay a while"

"Well, yes. I hope so. We will se"

"You need a room, I assume" the friendly man changed the subcject when he realised her discomfort.

Louisa looked at his shiny blue eyes and nooded.

After they took care of the paperwork he took her suitcase and said "I think it will be safer for all of us if I take this"

Louisa smiled and followed him to her room.

"Breakfast is included, it starts every morning at 7:00 and ends at 10:00. I am Kyle, by the way" he said while opening the door to her room.

"I am Louisa. But please call me Lou"

"Okay, Lou. Well, this is your room. If there is anything else you need, I will be at the front desk"

"There is actually one thing" Louisa hestitated for a moment "if you hear about any job openings please let me know"

"I know for a fact that they are searching for a waitress down the street at the caffee. If that is something that interest you, I can call and set up an interview"

"Oh that would be wonderfull, Kyle. Thank you so much"

He gave her another bright smile and left the room. Louisa liked him. She enjoyed his friendly nature and politeness. Something she hasn't been around in a while.

Lou jumped on the bed and enjoyed the feeling of freedom. For the first time in her life she was living alone. For the first time she wasn't scared at all.


	6. Chapter 6

Nathan slept that night in the spare bedroom at the annexe. There was no way he could have left Will alone after the resent events, no mather how much he protested with his snarky comments.

"I am aware that your favorite part of the day is when you take my clothes off and put me to bed, Nathan, but there is no reason for you to actually stay the night"

"HA-HA. I am glad you didn't lose your sence of humor" Nathan rolled his eyes at Will.

"I lost everything else. Didn't I?" Nathan felt sorry for him. After the train left right in front of their noses, they didn't say anything. They just stood there in silence for a while staring at the distance like the damn train would magically come back. Some time after Nathan couldn't take it anymore standing there miserably he took Will home. He decided to stay the night, not only to look after Will but because he wanted to make sure that Will actually goes to the Doctor.

When he entered his room in the morning it wasn't hard to see that Will didn't sleep at all. Nathan tried to hide the pitty feeling that overcame him but Will always knew. He had a radar for people who would pitty him no mather how much they tried to hide it. Nathan felt ashamed for it but he couldn't stand the thought of Will lying in his bed the whole night wide awake with no sleep and with no ability to move when he felt the slightest discomfort. All he had were his thoughts and those where not good thoughts. Maybe even worse than before now that Louisa left. If there was a slightest chances of him canceling Switzerland it was long gone now. The only chances they had to make him want to live were Louisa and the Doctor. So Nathan made two promises to himself. The first one was to make sure Will goes to see the Doctor and work on his arms no mather how much he protests. The second promise was Lou, they will find that damn girl even if they have to search till the end of the world.

"How are u feeling?" he asked Will.

"Like doing a breakdance marathon"

"I didn't know you had the talent for it"

Will just gave him his most snobiest look he could have pulled off.

Nathan picked Will up and began with their morning routine. Will didn't say another word. Later Nathan made breakfast for Will, something Louisa would have done if she was here.

"Listen, mate" Nathan started carefully "I will take you to the doctor. We need to make a check up"

"There is no way in hell, that I will go to the Hospital" Will said it in a more calm way than Nathan had expected.

"Look, Will, I am aware that you have no desire to do anything at the moment, but if you want it or not, I will take you to the Hospital"

"What is the point of me going to the Hospital if I am leaving for Switzerland in 3 days"

"Will, me of all people always respected your wishes and your right to choose what you wanted to do with your life. No, in no kind of way do I want go get your hopes up but you moved your arms twice last night and we have to consult a Doctor and do everything that is in our power to make improvements if possible"

"This is not only about my useless arms and you know that"

"Will, we will find her together. I promise you that. I have never asked you for anything. I have been a respectfull employee and most of all an understanding friend. But don't. Don't do it. Not now"

"What is going on in here?" A pale Camilla Traynor entered the annexe. Nathan could have seen that she aswell couldn't sleep last night.

Nathan politely smiled at her "Will and I, we will go..."

"We will go to the park" Will yelled out before Nathan could have finish his sentence.

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Will Traynor didn't listen to one word what the doctors and nurses had to say. He was lost in his thoughts about Louisa and the misery he felt about her. What if Nathan was wrong and they could not find her. What if she never returns to him. A part of him was happy that she left, that is what he always wanted for her. He wanted her to spread her wings and fly away from here cause she was ment for a bigger life than the one she had here. But he hated the misery he put her in, the memory of her upset face and the tears on her eyes were breaking him inside. He hated that because of him she felt that she wasn't good enough. And most of all he hated that he didn't know if she was alright.

"Mr. Traynor? Mr. Traynor?" The Doctor interuped his thoughts. He wondered how long they tried to get his attention.

"Yes" Will said uninterested.

"Would you mind to try to move your arms?"

"Yes. I would mind"

"Please, Mr. Traynor, It is out of big importance that you cooperate"

Will grabbed the table with the instruments and knocked it over.

"I hope this is enough cooperation"


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you so much for your awsome comments and support. All your reviews make me so happy - Monrose**

The doctors orders were to go to physiotherapy and special treatments every day next to doing some various excersises at home. They also gave Will some new meds that "would help his new hopefull situation". Will didn't pay much attention to the doctors monologe, not only because he had bigger things on his mind to worrie about but because it was the same old drill they went through two years ago, only this time a bunch of new words like _hope, miracle, Gods heard prayers_ and similiar fell on the table. Nathans new found excitment and positivity annoyed Will more than the abuse of the word _Miracle_. Will thought it was a miracle he didn't punch the Doctor right on his face.

"We will add the new excersises to our daily routine, but you will have to do them also when I am not there, I will write everything down into the notebook and go through the process with Camilla and Steven" Nathan started the conversation on their ride back home.

"Oh, joy. I can't wait for mother hanging over my head 24/7. Maybe she even move to the annexe so that we can have slumber tea parties" Will said sarcastically.

"Yeah, you can be sarcastic as much as you want now but when you regain the ability to fully use your hands you will drop your attitude"

"Jesus, Nathan, when did you become such a believer" Nathan didn't had to look at Will to know that he rolled his eyes at him.

"I am doing this job long enough to know when to believe and when not. I know that full recoveries mostly happen in Hollywood but I have seen people trying and failing, untill something bigger doesn't motivated them." Nathan stopped at a red light and looked at Will who was staring out of the window. He knew he was listening to him, even if he tried to pretend he didn't. "You can roll your eyes at me as much as you want. You can say that I am cheezy and that I turned into a wuss. You can also despite me for what I am gonna say but I am gonna be completely honest with you. I have been with you from the start. I saw you trying and failing for almost a year. I saw your best moments and I saw your worst. I saw your experiencing pain that I wouldn't wish for my worst enemy. That girl changed your life and she changed your damn mind. We both know she is the only reason you made improvement. You have been so long in your angry bubble of misery that you pushed her away even when deep down you canceled Switzerland a long time ago in your head but you just didn't want to admitt that to yourself. Can you even count how many times you told her to leave her comfort zone when you didn't want leave yours. Your wrapped yourself in your untouchable bubble and you didn't even realise how close she came, and when you did realise you just let her go. But you love that girl, and damnit she loves you too. That love and the pain together you experienced when you saw what misery you caused her made you improve. So yes, William Traynor. I am a damn believer"

"Damn, Nathan, forgive me for my unability to give you a standing ovation" Nathan just smiled and shook his head. That bloody Will wont every change his snarkyness but he loved him for that.

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Camilla Traynor broke down in tears. She pinched herself a couple of times to make sure that Nathans words were not just a dream that was too good to be true. Steven was in a positive shock. Their son expressing (Well, tecnically Nathan in Will's name, since he was to busy rolling his eyes) his desire to live was something they didn't want to hope for to not get hurt any more in a situation that was already causing so much pain. Will wouldn't be Will if he wouldn't have given them a couple of his best sarcastic comments.

Camilla wasn't to sad that Louisa Clark was gone but she saw fire in Will's eyes, something she had missed for over two years, and the desire to find that girl was causing it. If necessary she will turn every stone in this world, but they will find her.

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The bedroom was small and cozy. It was decorated in a typical bed and breakfast style. Bedsheets with flower patterns and oldfashioned paintings on the wall with a big chandelier hanging from the ceiling, the kind you would find in your grandmothers house. It was almost a little to cheezy but Louisa loved it. The bed was big and comftorable with two big pillows on it. Opposite the bed was a simple wodden desk and a chair with a guest book on the desk. Left from the bed where two big windows from wich she had a good view from the second floor right at the street, a little down to the left she could see the caffee Kyle was talking about. It was still early but people where already filling the streets with their conversations and laughter. Louisa obeservered the pedestrians for a while and allowed herself to get lost in her thoughts. She knew she could find happiness in this place.

Before she would run down for breakfast she took a long shower. The warm wather felt so good on her skin. It was almost like all her problems went down the drain with the wather. She picked out a colorfull blouse and a highwaist skirt with her favorite shoes.

When she came down to the dining area two tables where taken, a young couple with their son at one table and two eldery women at the other where enjoying the food. Louisa picked up a tray and decided to go for the croisant with apricot filling aswell as with a cup of fruit tea.

"So, the unusal outfit is not a one time thing" a voice behind her said.

Louisa almost dropped her tray but Kyle catched it on time.

"I told you, coordination is not my strength" she smiled at him "so it is better that you don't sneak up on me like that again"

"I will keep that in mind" Kyle said while handing her tray back "but fashion, that must be your thing then"

"Oh" Louisa looked at her skirt "I guess it is, I have a thing for unusual clothes. Not everyone appreciates my sence of style"

"Well, I do, it brings something refreshing to this monotonous world" Kyles warm voice made her feel happy.

"Thank you, but trust me, except my clothes there is nothing interesting about me" Louisa remembered how often Will and Nathan teased her about her boring life.

"I would disagree" Kyle blushed and quickly changed the subcject "Listen, I talked to Frannie, the caffe owner, she said you can come by any time today" Louisa almost asked who Frannie was but than she remembered the job opening at the caffe.

"Thank you Kyle that is wonderfull news" she took a seat at an empty table and joyfully eat her croisant. Life will be good again, she was certain of it.

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Frannie was an eldery lady in her 60s with short gray hair but with the vitality of a 20 year old and with the wisdom of a someone who lived two lifes. After Louisa went for a walk and observed the village she made her way to the caffe. She loved it the second she entered in, the delicious smell of the pastries filled the air in the room. The shabby chick decorations were lovely and she felt like her whole being fit right in. She even loved the name - _The shabby mug._

"You must be Lou?" Frannie approched her almost immediately after she entered in.

"Oh, yes. I am. How did you know?" Lou was confuesed.

"In a small town like this everyone knows each other. Besides, Kyle told me a girl with an unusual fashion style would stop by for an interview. So let's interview you" Frannie pointed at the only available table in the caffe. She felt like the whole caffe was staring at her. "Tell me something about you, girl. Did you ever work as a waitress?"

"Actually I did. I worked in a caffe back at home for 7 years"

"7 years? Seems such a waste for someone like you. I bet you have different talents you could have explored in that time" Frannie measured her.

 _Please don't say potential,_ Louisa begged in her mind.

"I see potential in you that is ment for something bigger than a waitress. But let's give you a shot. We can start now and see how it works out till the end of the evening"

It was like she never stopped working as a waitress. She loved the dinamic at the caffe. The people were friendly and everyone was curious about the new girl with the unusual clothes. She forgot how much she loved to be around this many people chatting about the weather and listening to the customers silly stories.

At the end of the shift when she waved the last customers goodbye, she and Frannie closed up.

"Listen, girl, if you want this job, you can have it. Even if I feel sorry to give it to you. It is such a waste of time for you to make tea and coffe all day long. There is a small studio apartment above, nothing big, just a small beedroom and a bathroom, I use it as storage right now. Give me a few days to clean it out and you can move in. It can be a part of your sallary"

Louisa couldn't believe what she heard "That is too generous of you, Frannie, thank you so much"

"I like you girl, when you get used to me you'll feel comftorable enough to tell me what you running away from"

"What? What do you mean?" Louisa stuttered.

"No one moves to a place like this in the middle of nowhere unless he is running from something. You don't need to tell me your secrets but trust me when I say that I have done my fair share of running, and the one thing that I learned is that the past always catches up with you"

The next few days run by fast. The days were easy. Being around people most part of the day prevent her from thinking about Will. Nights were harder, in the loneliness of her bedroom, Will's face was always floating around her. She was brave enough to not cry, she promised she wouldn't but every morning she would wake up in tears screaming from a nightmare she wouldn't remember but she knew it involved Will.

A few days later she left the bed and breakfast and moved to the apartment above the caffe. The look at the calender that Frannie left in the small bedroom made her head spin. Her heartbeat raised uncontrollably. Today was the day of Will's planned death.

Louisa broke down histerically on the floor.


	8. Chapter 8

The Clark house never felt so lonely. Not such a long time ago Louisa brightened up the house with her colorfull presence and contagious laughter. Now nothing was left than disturbing silence that slipped in every corner of the house where once ruled chaos. It is ironic how often you desire for some peace and quite and when you finally get it you would give anything to get the chaos back into your life. It felt like yesterday when the two sisters were fighting over bedrooms. Now two bedrooms on the upstairs remained empty. Both sisters were gone. One left for college with ocasional visits on the weekend and the other left because the memories of the man she loved where written in every corner of this town and it was too much to handle.

The two Clark's and the grandfather were left alone in a quite house that once seemed so small and now it was just too big and empty filled with silence that ocasionally would be disturbed with a loud ring on the phone.

Joyce would run immediately every single time towards the phone interrupting any other activity that she was doing at the moment. After all, it could have been Lou.

"Hallo?" Her voice sounded hopefull. It sounded hopefull everytime when she picked up the phone, only to get wrapped in dissapointment just a moment later.

"Any news?" An anxious Will Traynor was on the other line. He didn't bother to say his name. It was his eight call in the past four days. He called everyday twice a day, not giving a chance to miss out if any news of Louisa would come up.

"I am sorry Will. No news. She didn't call yet neither did she send a letter or an e-mail. Treena didn't hear from her either" Joyce repeated those words like a robot. She had this conversation 7 times in the past 4 days. She knew what was comming next.

"But if you hear anything you will let me know immediately"

She knew there was no point and that he would call tomorrow again but she said it anyways. For the 8th time. "Of course we will. Trust me, you don't need to call us. If we find out anything, we will call you instantly"

"Thank you, Joyce. Have a lovely evening" Will hang up with dissapointment in his voice that he was unable to hide.

"Do you think that it is a good Idea to tell him if Lou calls? We made a promise to her that we wouldn't let anyone know where she is" Bernard asked his wife while getting a beer out of the fridge.

"We don't even know where Lou is" Joyce wrapped her hands around her knees "Lou has to call first before we can do anything. But I do think it is a good Idea. He should know. And she should know too, that he is alive. The whole reason she left was because he didn't want to live anymore. If she knew that things have changed, and things have changed because of her, she would return home and that is what is for the best" It was getting late. Joyce felt tired but she stayed up these days a little later than usual in case Lou would call.

"I hope you are right" Bernards thoughts were somewhere distant "Well, at least Katrina will be home for the weekend with Thomas to bring in a needed change" he tried to brighten up his wife.

Joyce nooded and gave him a tired smile. She never looked older than the past few days.

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Louisa Clark was crawling on the floor. Desperation and misery that were collecting inside her for days couldn't be pressed down anymore. Right here on the floor at the small studio apartment she was falling apart. Every emotion that was considering Will Traynor was crawling painfully outside of her. Will Traynor was forever gone. He will never live the potentials he could have with her. She failed, she failed so miserably. The world will continue without him like he never existed but he did existed. He will forever suround her with his invisible presence. She produced a noise that reminded of an wounded animal. A desperately needed gasp for some air but it felt like her lungs betrayed her. She wanted to stand up, she tried several times but her body refused to cooperate like it wanted to say, this is your end. This is were you belong. This is were failures belong, on the floor. So, she stayed there, sobbing through the night at the cold floor, untill her body was overwhelmed with exhaustion and dehidration that put her into deep sleep where Will Traynors presence kept haunting her.

The next morning she awakened at the same hard floor with a puffy face, dry lips and a huge headache. When she stood up it was hard to find some balance on her feet. Her whole body was sore. She felt like she had the biggest hangover without even drinking. What she desperately wanted was to lie down in her bed, but she couldn't betray Frannie who was so unconditionally nice and generous towards her. So, she went to the bathroom and put herself under a long cold shower. There was no help for her puffy face but a dose of carefully apllyed make up would help. She picked up a nice dress and most importantly put the biggest fake smile on her face that she could pull off. And off she went to work.

The day at work past by slowly. As much as she tried to keep up with the conversations with the costumers she wasn't up for it so she just smiled and nooded through the day. She was working like a robot feeling dead inside.

When the last costumers left, Frannie and Lou cleaned up. Lou couldn't wait to get back to the apartment to fall apart in her bed and rest from the overly exhausting smiling.

"If that is it, I'll make my way to the apartment upstairs" Louisa grabbed her chance to disappear.

"Sit down, girl" Frannie said in such a demanding tone of voice that she wouldn't dare to refuse her request. Louisa felt bed. She must have done a worse job than she thought and she will get fired. She failed even at the only job she knew how to properly do.

Frannie didn't say anything, she was going through the counters searching for something while Louisa was to afraid to speak up so she sat on the chair silently looking at her feet.

She came back with a bottle of whiskey and two glasses. She pured the whiskey a little to generously into the glass and handed it to Louisa. "Here. Drink up. You need it"

Confusion was written all over Louisas face.

"If you think that make up and a fake smile on your face can hide the results of a night spend crying from me than you met the wrong old lady" she put her hand on Louisas shoulder "You don't need to tell me what your problems are, if you dont want to. But you can if you need someone to talk to. I am a good listener, I don't judge, God knows we all have our bourden we carry around. And do you know how we survive, girl? We share that bourden with people who care for us"

Louisa was overwhelmed with the kindness that Frannie offered her.

"I..." Louisa tried to hold in her tears. She took a big sip of that whiskey and tried again. "I run away, you were right about that. I took off in the middle of the night, I told my parents I would call when I settle wich I still havent had the courage to do. I took a train and came here searching for a restart. Somewhere where they wont be any memories of Will Traynor" Louisa took another sip. It has been days since she said his name out loud and it burned on her tongue they way the whiskey did on her throat. Frannie was patiently waiting giving Louisa time to gather her words. "I was his carer for the past six months because he was a quadriplegic for the past two years after he had an accident. We fell in love, but he decided to go to Switzerland to a clinic for assisted suicide. Yesterday." Louisa broke down in tears. She started to sob uncontrollably "I couldn't save him, Frannie. I failed. I failed to save him."

Frannies face didn't show shock or dissaproval neither any kind of judgement. She was just understanding, carrying Louisas bourden with her. She took the crying Louisa in her arms "Now Listen to me carefully, girl. You did not fail at anything. If anything you made someones life richer with your presence. That mans mind was set a long time ago, and I will refuse to let you suffer because he failed to see the beauty of the life he could have had with you. It will take time but you will heal and be happy again, I promise you that" Louisa lost track of time. She didn't know how long she cried in Frannies comforting arms.

A while later late at night the two women where saying their goodbyes. Before she left Frannie turned around. "One more thing, girl. Call your family. I would kill my daughters if they would promise me to let me know that they are alright and never give me a call"

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It was two in the morning when Louisa took the old wall phone at the apartment in her hand and dialed the number of her home. _Biiiip_.


	9. Chapter 9

_Biiiip. Biiiip. Biiiip_. The sound of the ring felt too loud in the silence of the dark night. She knew she should have waited till the morning to make the call but the whiskey gave her courage that would fade away with the morning so she didn't dare to wait.

Louisa was almost ready to hang up when she heard her mothers sleepy voice. "Hallo?"

"Mum? Mum, it's me, it's Lou" she wasn't sure why she felt so nervous.

"Oh, my God! Lou! It's you! It really is you" Joyce instantly felt wide awake. "Where are you? Is everything okay? Are u alright?"

"Calm down, mum. I am doing fine. Everything is really good" she remembered now why she put off this call for so long. She didn't want to get asked questions she wasn't ready to answer.

"Where are you?" It wasn't hard to notice how that question was left unanswered.

"It doesn't mather" She hoped she would drop that subject.

"Lou, honey, when are u comming back home. We miss you" It was bitter sweet to hear Lou. She was glad that she was alright but she desperately wanted her back home.

Louisa felt sad to dissapoint her mother. "Mum, I am not comming back home. Trust me, I am doing really good. I even have a job and an apartment"

"A job and an apartment? Where?" Joyce couldn't explain why that surprised her. The past days she was hoping that Lou was doing good, but in her mind she always assumed that her daughter was crying alone in a hotel room.

"It doesn't mather, the important thing is that I am doing good. I just called to let you and dad know that I am okay so that you wouldn't worry"

"Louisa, you are our daughter, we will always worry about you"

"You really shouldn't. I am very happy where I am" she burried the memorie of last night deep on the edge of her mind.

"Why wont you tell us where you are?" Joyce started to feel hopeless.

"I am not ready mum, I still need distance. Please, understand that"

Joyce hestitated "Listen, Lou, there is something I need to tell you" she paused for a moment "It is about Will..."

"I dont want to know, mum" Lou shouted out immediately.

"Trust me, Honey, you will want to know this"

"No, mum, you trust me. I really dont want to know" Lou couldn't hide the anger in her voice. She hated to use that tone towards her mother, but she made a promise to her and the first chance she got she broke it.

Joyce thought for a moment. She heard the anger in Lous voice but she could not keep this from her. She need to know the truth. "Will, he is..."

"YOU PROMISED NOT TO MENTION HIM! YOU PROMISED!" Louisa went into an rage that broke her mothers heart, but she couldn't stop, no mather how Lou would get angry. She has to know.

"Will, he is still alive" _Tuu. Tuu. Tuu. Tuu._

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Josephine Clark didn't go back to sleep. She waited patiently for the morning on the brown couch in the darkness of her living room with the loud company of her worried thoughts. Her whole body felt anxious about the thought of Will Traynors call. She had no doubt he would call, he always did. Every day, twice a day. She knew the news would break him and she hated herself for having to be the messenger and bringing uncertain news to a man who suffered enough but she didn't want to keep this from him. He deserves to at least know that Lou was alright.

Her thoughts were interupted with the enterence of her husband.

"Lou called" she said immediately in a robotic tone of voice.

"What? When?" Bernard almost fell down from excitment.

"Last night. The phone rang at two in the morning, you were asleep" she explained.

"You should have woke me" dissapointment was written on his face.

"Believe me, I didn't had the chance. She hang up when I tried to tell her that Will is alive" she stared at the floor, she was to anxious to look at her husband.

"Did..." Bernard voice broke down into a whisper. "Did she hear what you said"

"I really dont know" she said miserably.

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At the other side of the castle Will Traynor just woke up from a peacefull dream about Louisa Clark. He stretched his arms, feeling anxious every morning when he did it, to make sure the new achieved ability of his hands and arms was not lost again. His arms were still weak and he had difficulties to get himself alone out of bed, but he gained a little more strength with every new day. Louisa Clark kept him going. Almost every night she came in his dreams and cheered for him. _You can do it, Will,_ she would say. _Soon I'll come back and you will hug me with those arms,_ she would whisper in his ear. What a shame it was just a dream.

A cheerfull Nathan entered the bedroom. "Good morning. You are already up and in a good mood I see"

"No, I just had a cramp on my face that makes it look like I am smiling" Will said dryly.

"Of course. I don't know why I would assume differently" Nathan rolled his eyes and got closer to help Will get out of the bed. Not such a long time ago Nathan would have picked up Will all by himself. Now, Nathan was assisting him while Will was doing most of the work with his hands. It was a real pleasure to see the improvement.

After the usual morning drill, Will grabbed his phone and dialed the Clarks number.

"Hallo?" It was hard to unhear the discomfort in Josey Clarks voice.

"Any news?" Will asked without hestitation. A suspicious long pause followed that Will didn't like at all. "Joyce?"

"Will..." Joyce was searching for the right words. "Lou called last night but..."

"What? Why didn't you call me immediately" Will was overjoyed with happiness.

"It was around two in the morning when she called. I didn't want to wake you"

"Where is she?" In his mind he was already packing his stuff towards here.

"Will, I dont know, she didn't want to tell me. She said she wasn't ready. But she is doing good, already having a job and an apartment" Joyce hoped that at least this knowledge would comfort him.

"Joyce" Will said slowly through his teeth. "Did you even tell her I was alive?"

Another moment of silence followed. Joyce sighted on the other side of the line "I tried, Will, I really tried, but the second I mentioned your name she got angry and didn't want to listen. I really tried to tell her. And well, I did but..."

"But what, Joyce?" There was no way he could hide his anger.

"But she hang up when I said so I can't be too certain if she heard me"

Will smashed his phone on the floor. It was the third item he destroyed since he was able to use his hands.

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Katrina Clark always admired her big sister. She was aware they didn't got always along and she might often be the reason for it, but she had nothing but love and respect for her sister. She considered her an ally, a partner she would have for the rest of her life. She cared so deeply for her but she failed to show it when she should have. She always did what she thought was best for her.

Returning home with Thomas for the weekend was hard. Without Louisa the family wasn't complete and her presence was overly missed leaving a huge emptiness behind. With her the house was brighter and louder. Now being home felt weird.

When sunday afternoon came and her phone showed a call from a blocked number her female intuition told her it was Lou before she even answered.

"Treena?"

She felt like huge bourden fell down off her shoulders when she heard her sisters voice. "God, Lou, I missed you so much"

Lou felt like she just got cought off guard. For some reason she never thought of her sister missing her. It was an odd feeling knowing that she did.

"Treena, can you please just listen and not say anything"

"Of course. I can"

"I am tired of questions that I am not ready to answer. I want to hear from you guys but I need distance, and I know the moment I say where I am, the second mum gets an emotional break down she would make her way up here. And I can't have that right now"

"But..."

"Treena, you promised to listen and not to say anything" Louisa waited for a confirmation but Katrina kept silent as she promised. "I am happy here. I am really happy here. I work at this caffe for this awsome lady, she even gave me her studio apartment to live in. Today she brought me a sewing machine and demanded that I make her a dress. Ha, can you believe that? The people here are so warm and welcoming and I am more relaxed and without worrys than I have ever been. The truth is, I haven't really missed you guys. You know that I Iove you. Thomas. And mum and dad. And grandfather. But... But here I am just this new girl in town without any past, any Will Traynors, and I enjoy it so much. I can't say all this to mum and dad. So i am saying all this to you." Lou took a deep breath and continued "This is not just about Will's death and me being uncapable to deal with it while everything at home reminded me off him. This is so much bigger. I need this" This was the moment when Katrina Clark decided once again to do what she thought was the best for her sister.

"Can I trust you, Treena? So when I tell you where I am, you wont tell anyone?"

"I swear, Lou"

Katrina Clark is not a women who puts doubts in her decisions. After all, she is the smart one. So when she decided not to tell Louisa about Will being alive and keep her secret from her family and Will Traynor, she knew it was the right decision. After all, its what is best for her sister.


	10. Chapter 10

A month pased since Louisa Clarks daparture to the unknown. Somewhere far away she lived a life without him. He hoped it was a happy life filled with love and adventures. Somewhere worthy of her striped bumblebee legs where people will appreciate her beautifull mind and let her live up her potentials.

Will Traynors days flew by painfully slowly. He drank more. Now that he was able to use his hands he managed to drink and eat without anyones help, so when the days where really bad he occasionally pured himself a drink or a couple more to be excat, and let the liquor silence his thoughts about the woman he had lost. Sometimes when Nathan would accompanied him out he would think he see her waving at him only to realise there was no one standing there. His mind played a dangerous game with him.

The most painfull part was to not know if she knew he was alive. He didn't know if her decision to stay away was trigured by the pain she felt cause she thought he was dead or because she knew he was still alive and didn't want him by her side. She didn't call the Clarks house anymore. She just vanished and left an unbarable emptiness behind. This town filled with people never felt more lonely and useless without her. He desparetly wanted to hear her voice, he hoped for a call even if she would tell him that she will never love him again. He just needed her. Desperately needed her.

Some days Nathan would have pick him out of bed cause he was too drunk and unbothered to get up cause he wouldn't see the point anymore. Funny, he thought, how not such a long time ago his condition was the worst thing that he could imagine that happened to him. Now he realised that the pain, emotional and physical the accident left behind was nothing compared to the pain he felt being without Louisa.

They thought he had stopped trying, that he just given up and let the liquor wash away the misery, but they didn't understand that he did try, he tride so hard, but it was to damn hard without her.

 _ **Clark, come back to me. Come back**_. He whispered every night.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Camilla and Steven Traynor hired a private investigator. They had no intention to tell their son about it cause they wouldn't want to get his hopes up.

"This is a very difficult task" the investigator would say "Can you give me a clue where you think she is? Maybe some friends or family out of the country?" But there was no clue. That girl just vanished in the middle of a stormy night.

It was almost unbarable to watch the misery their son was left in. He wasn't bothered to hide his drinking. At least he didn't give up on pyshiotherapy but his heart was not anymore in it. She could see it. The longer that girl was gone, the more he cared less for anything else except her. At nights Camilla would sneak into the annexe to make sure he didn't sunk completely in his misery. One night she found him completely drunk throwing empty bottles of hard liquor at the wall. She barely managed to put him to bed and called the maid to clean up the mess. The next morning he had no memory of the events the night before and she didn't want to tell him to not make him feel any worse.

She wanted him happy, but there was nothing she was able to do to make him cheer up at least for a second. No one can do anything except that damn girl. Where are you, Louisa Clark? Where are you?

xxxxxxxxxxxx

"Mommy, let's go to the maze" Thomas was holding his ice cream that was dripping from the cone right on the floor. It was September and the Fall festival began at the castle. "Please, Mommy, let's go." The sun was up high in a cloudless sky. It was one of the last few warm days left in this year.

Katrina felt tired. She didn't got much sleep the past week. There was to much to study for the exams. She hoped that she would get some sleep this weekend at home when mum and dad would be able to look after Thomas, but her son wouldn't give her a free moment.

She would rather go back to bed than to the maze, but she couldn't say no to her son. She wasn't able to give him many things in his life like new toys or clothing so when she had a chance to fullfil any of his wishes, she would go for it. Like that stupid maze.

Katrina Clark never officially met Will Traynor but it wasn't hard to guess that the man in a whelchair in font of the maze was him. Before she was able to react Thomas was running with his sticky ice cream towards him.

"Why are you in a wheelchair?" She could hear her curious son asking. She hurried to prevent any damage that the inosence of a child in this conversation could cause.

"I had an accident" Will Traynor said very patiently. Less unbothered than Katrina would have thought.

"My auntie knew a man who was also in a wheelchair" Thomas was extremly fascinated by the chair.

"I am sorry, he is just a little curious" Katrina finally catched up to them.

"I don't mind at all" Will gave her a tired smile. "You must be Katrina? And you-" he pointed at the little boy "you must be Thomas"

"How do you know?" The child asked suspiciously.

"Your auntie told me. She was a good friend of mine" Katrina thought that she saw Will's eyes tearing up.

"I miss my auntie" Thomas said sadly.

"I miss her too" the desperation in Wills eyes was hard to ignore.

Now that Katrina was able to have a closer look at him, she saw how run down he looked. His hair was too long, his beard desperately need a proper shave, his face was pale and with big black circles that surrounded his eyes that served as a reminder of many sleepless nights, but that wasn't just it. He had this sadness that surrounded him and that he was not able to get rid off no mather how much he tried. Something broken that had nothing to do with his body.

Before Katrina had a chance to think about it, something more powerfull overcame her. Something that was out of her control, words came out of her mouth that she was unable to stop.

"Will, I know where Lou is"


	11. Chapter 11

It was one od those days when you knew from the second you woke up that something was different but you just couldn't put your finger on what it was. It was an intuition that humans where naturally born with, a strong feeling in your chest that suggested a change was comming. A unknown emotion that you were unable to detect where it is comming from, something that made your heart beat a little faster through the day. A feeling that was foreshadowing something significant. All signs where there, too bad we humans tend to ignore them.

After she had her morning shower, Louisa took a look outside the window. It was a chilly fall day. Colorfull leaves where already covering the streets. Children that were on their way to school where plafully jumping in to puddles that served as little reminders of the rain that was falling down the sky just yesterday. Louisa wondered about the weather back home. Have they been able to enjoy the last bit of the summer or was the sunny days long gone and merged into a sky full of clouds. The sky in Staithes was stretching his grey colors in the horizon. People where covered in more layered clothes to protect themselves from the strong wind that was hauling outside. The look of it gave her bare skin goosebumps. She opened the drawer ready to get dressed only to get mocked by her bumblebee tights. She thought she hid them deep on the bottom of the drawer but somehow they ended up right on the top. She was certain of it that last night when she put her clothes down the bumblebee tights where not there. They appeared on the top, like magic.

To her own supprise, she didn't thought about it much, she just put them on and found a black longslieved dress hanging in here closet that fited perfectly with it. Black wasn't really a color she wore often so she highlighted the style with yellow heels that had little bows on the sides.

Before she left for work she finished up a dress that she was sewing for Marie, a girl a little bit younger than herself that was working at the local Pharmacy. Since Frannie gave her the sewing machine nearly a month ago and demanded that she would make her a dress, nearly the whole town was comming to her for clothing, they nicknamed her The Dressmaker. Frannie said she had the sewing machine for years in her attic but Louisa knew it was brand new. It was Frannies way for making her not waste her years as a waitress and make her do something more significant. Almost every day she would say "I should fire you cause I am committing a crime by letting you waste your talent in this place, but I don't know what I would do without you" so she gave her a sewing machine as a little compensation for both of them.

The day at the caffe was in his usual order with the eldery women occupying the place in the morning with loud gossips about the youth in the town and persistent ways to make Louisa date their sons, nephews or any other single relatives they could think off.

"You should really come by my house and meet my grandson. He is a real catch. You two would be perfect for each other" or "My nephew is visiting me every weekend, you two should meet. He is an architect" is what they would say. Louisa laughed it off, hoping inside they wont actually go that far and bring any of them to the caffe.

The afternoons where easier, they where reserved for the loud teenegers who came by after school, who were either to busy staring at their phones or to involved in their conversations about celebrities and boys or girls that they had no time to pay too much attention to Louisa.

It was just that today of all days there was something in the air, a strange feeling that was implying that something was comming. Late at the evening close to the end of her shift when outside was already dark and the customers where already gone, a sence that someone was watching her overcame her and the discomfort inside her amplified, she couldn't stand still. She focused on the dirty glasses and even though they had a well functioned dishwasher she washed them with her hands to have something to escape to from the odd feeling inside.

When the door behind her opened and let a cold draft in that made the hair on her neck rise, the glass she was holding got shattered in her hand when she heard the words "Stripy legs".

She was to frightened to turn around, only to see Kyle standing on the other side of the counter. She was uncertain if she felt relief or dissatisfaction by his presence.

"I am sorry" Kyle said sincerely. "I didn't want to scare you like that"

"It's okay. It's just that someone else used to say that to me too" Louisa felt like she had a huge lump stuck in her throat.

"Oh, my God, you are bleeding" Kyle pointed at her hands. "Let me at least clean your wounds. After all its my fault" Before she was able to react he was sitting her down on the bar chair and reaching for the first aid kit.

"It's really nothing. It is just a small cut" Louisa insisted but Kyle was already gently cleaning her hand from the blood.

"You used to love that man. Didn't you?" Kyle jumped with that question out of nowhere. "The one who used to say you have stripy legs"

"I still love him" Kyle was unable to hide the dissapointment with Louisas answer.

Louisa was aware that Kyle liked her, he came by everyday and stayed a little longer than he actually had to. With his bright blue eyes he looked at her like she was the only women in the world. He showered her with little shy compliments that most time she didn't know how to answer to. He was nice and sweet, he came from a good family and owned a bed and breakfast. He was happy and joyfull and satisfied with his life. _A real catch_ , as the old ladies would say. But he wasn't the catch she desired. Her catch was long gone and there wont be anyone in this world like him ever again.

"Will there ever be a chance for me?" When his face turned red and shyness overtook him, Louisa realised how hard this question must have been for him.

For a split second she wanted to say yes, one day there will be, but she knew she would lie to both of them. "I am sorry Kyle, my heart belongs to someone else"

"That lucky bastard" he said while looking down at her hands that he was still holding.

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Will Traynor didn't had the time to say all the mean insults to Katrina Clark that he wanted to. He rolled his wheelchair as fast as he could back to the annexe leaving the Mother and Son behind staring at him while he vanished in the distance. He was hating his useless legs more than ever for losing their puropse and leaving him unable to run and move faster. On his way he managed to text Nathan "ANNEXE! NOW!"

When he arrived he was furiously packing his stuff into the first bag he found. When a red and sweaty Nathan arrived at the door gasping for some air from the run he just took across the town to get to the annexe as fast as he could, he was surprised to see Will in a healthy yet grumpy condition.

"What the hell? I thought you were dying" Nathan was out of breath.

"We have to leave now. Clark is in Staithes. It's a 4 hour drive till the coast" Will kept throwing things in his bag.

"How do you know?" Nathan couldn't believe what he just heard.

"We have no time for explanations. We are leaving right now"

Nathan was just able to give Will a little nod, and the next thing he knew they where on the road to Staithes, a place he never heard of before.

It was a painfull drive, filled with anxiety and uncertain expetations. Will didn't say much he just kept looking at the watch like there was an excat time the two of them where expected to be in Staithes. It was an unknown agony and neither one of them didn't know how it would end.

It was already dark outside when the two men arrived in Staithes and parked the car that was definitely standing out in a place like this. They stopped an eldery lady who was looking at them suspiciously to ask for directions to a caffe named The Shabby Mug. They reached the old narrow street that had an distant view to the coast only to realise it wasn't really suitable for wheelchairs with his sleeky road and rain puddles on every corner but at this point there was nothing that could have the power to stop Will even if he had to crawl to that caffe. He hurried with Nathan by his side as fast as his wheelchair would allow him, when in the distance the old fashioned caffe sign that would say _The Shabby Mug_ got visible. With every inch his heart was getting more and more out of control. His hands wear sweaty, his eyes full of fire and desire. He didn't know what to say, neither what to expect, he just wanted to see her, to be with her. When he finally reached the caffe that had a country charm that reminded him of Clark, he took a deep breath and looked inside. Yes, he didn't know what to expect but he didn't expect to see another man holding Clarks hand.


	12. Chapter 12

**First I wanted to give all of you guys a huge thank you. It is an overwhelming pleasure to read all your reviews and see the interest in this story. I really feel all the love and support you are sending not only with your comments and follows but with every single view! Thank you!**

 **The second thing that I wanted to say is that I know that you guys are used to my rather fast updates but I am going on vacation so my next update might take a little longer. I just wanted to address that so that you wouldn't think that I gave up on the story if my update wouldn't come as soon as you would hope for. But, I promise you, if I will be able I will update soon till then I hope you will enjoy this chapter.**

 **I am sending you all so much love and hope you are having an awsome Summer! - Monrose**

People say that when you experience a tragic accident your whole life flashes in front of your eyes. A little tragic movie filled with memories you watch that posses your mind and heart and make you realize the beauty of the world you might leave suddenly behind. Will Traynor could have easily proved you wrong, the only thing flashing in front of his eyes two and half years ago were bright yellow lights. After that everything turned dark and silence. There were no visions from childhood memories or family vacations, nothing about his hiking trips, bike tours through the country with friends, skydiving or bungee jumping, no Alicia neither any other women he spend the night with, and trust me, there were many of them. It was pitch black dark. A blank space filled with nothing. A sudden hollow emptiness that made you aware that you are not the king of this world yet just a passing figure through this cosmos and there was nothing that would have been able to prepare you for it. But perhaps that tragic accident wasn't tragic enough. Not as painfully troubled or gloriously sickening to the grievously damage that it was preparing you for, not even closely comparable to the tragic of seeing the love of his life holding the hands of another man. In front of his eyes flashed all the beautiful and less beautiful memories he shared with Clark, from her first entrance to the annex till their first kiss at the beach. He relived all six painfully beautiful months all at once right there in front of a shabby caffe in Staithes experiencing a mixture of contrasting reactions through every pore of his body. She was sitting on the other side, happy and carefree, smiling, holding hands. So close, yet so far away.

Many times they hospitalized him because of various viruses and infections, pain and even minor body malfunction, every time there is a certain moment when the doctors come up to you and ask a question that seems so simple and insignificant, even meaningless, a question that concerns your pain level. ''Please Mr. Traynor'' they would say ''would you mind to share your pain level from 1 till 10 with us''. Will hated that question from the bottom of his heart. Pain was pain, did it matter which level you thought it was. So, he answered mostly with a ''9'', now he knew why. Because the pain he experienced now was nothing to the one the thought he felt before. It was closer to a 100 than to a 9. There were indeed different levels of pain, he was just lucky enough to be spared from this till now.

''Let's go home'' he silently said to Nathan.

''Are you insane, Will? We didn't come this far just to vanish without even trying'' He couldn't sympathize to Wills reaction. ''She is right there, she deserves to know the truth! You two deserve a chance''

''Don't you understand, Nathan. She is happy. Look at her sitting there with her stripy legs living a peaceful life without any worries. No man in wheelchair who can anchor her down from the opportunities of what this life can give you'' Will was determent.

''William Traynor, if you want go inside, I will. This is pure madness just because another insignificant man is holding her damn hand you are willing to let go just like that'' Nathan stepped forward.

''Nathan, if you have ever been my friend you will stop right now'' Nathan reluctantly turned around ''This is bigger than a silly man holding what I foolishly claimed as mine. Without me she is better off, look what she has done without me as a burden to her. She moved to another city, found work, maybe even love, who knows. And in a near future when she get more comfortable she will leave this place too and claim the world as her own, just as I always wanted her to do. I am not letting go. No, I am setting free something that has never even belonged to me. I was just either to scared of my own destiny or to blindly in love to realize that'' Warm tears fell down his face. His voice silenced into a soft whisper ''She has to go through her own journey without anyone standing in her way''

''That is a decision that she should make for herself'' Nathan voice raised in rage.

''No, that is a decision I am making for her because her beautiful selfless nature wouldn't ever allow her to do that, so I am doing it for her'' Will rolled his wheelchair up the street ''And you will support me because that is an order not a request''

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A dark presence was lurking in the shadow of the little alley eavesdropping the conversation of the two strange men that appeared out of nowhere in the little town named Staithes. She saw them from the distance when she headed her way towards the parking to her car. A tall man and a man in a wheelchair, something you don't see every day in a place like this. They were definitely looking like they were out of place. She decided to follow them when the two men stopped her to ask for directions to a caffe named The Shabby Mug. _Her caffe_.

If she didn't knew better she could have sworn that this men was Louisa Clarks Will Traynor. But she should have known better, the men named Will Traynor was dead, unable to move his body even while he was still a part of the living, at least that is what Louisa Clark told her. This man was rolling his chair and gesticulating with his hands during his conversation like it was the most natural thing in the world, so she was certain it was just a very strange coincidence but when the tall man with a heavy Australian accent addressed him several times as ''Will'', she thought her old ears where playing a trick with her. She stayed in a secure distance behind them and hid in the alley when they arrived next to the caffe. What followed was a heartbreaking conversation that left her in a state of clash. She stayed in the comforting darkness of the alley while watching the men disappear in the distance. Inside her was building up a huge lump of conflict that she was able to brush of easily cause she knew what was the right thing to do. So she opened the door of her little caffe and gave Kyle and Louisa a serious stare.

''Kyle you should leave now'' she said.

The young man, scared by Frannies tone, stood up as fast as he could. On his way out he managed to gave her a quick courtesy for goodbye cause words were unable to come out of his mouth from the discomfort he felt from the situation.

Louisa stared at Frannie in confusion, she wasn't used to see her like that, especially not throwing out costumers. ''I am sorry, Frannie, I accidently broke a glass and hurt myself, he was just helping me''

Frannie wasn't even listening, she just had to get this out before this would get to hard. After all, she learned to love that silly girl with her unusual clothes ''Louisa, you are fired''

''What? Why?'' Louisa practically yelled at her because of the shock that overcame her from Frannies words.

''You have to go back home, girl. It is time. I have let you hide out here for a month and I think it is out of big importance for you to head back home now'' This was more difficult for Frannie than she thought it would be ''I will drive you to the train station''

''Frannie, what is going on here. This is my home now. Why are you throwing me out like this?'' Louisa thought Frannie was playing a bad joke with her.

''I am not throwing you out. I am trying to help you. You have to go back to your family and deal with your demons. If things don't turn out the way we both hope they will, you will always have a place here but for now, you have to leave.''

''Frannie... Please... Don't do this'' Louisa begged.

''I have shown your more than enough courtesy and I think you can return me the favor by listening what I am telling you to do. It is the best thing that you can do at this moment. If things get out of hand in any kind of way, you can always come back''

Louisa couldn't fight that argument, Frannie has shown her more courtesy than she deserved. Without her she wouldn't have been able to survive this journey called Staithes. She was her rock and leaving this place that she managed to made a home off to a place where she would have to fight her demons was something she thought she would be able to avoid for at least a little while longer.

She gave Frannie a sad nod as approval to her words.

''Good, now go up and pack your stuff'' Frannie demanded.

''I have to clean up the shattered pieces of the glass''

''No, girl, go up and pack, Ill clean up here''

While Louisa was upstairs packing her stuff, Frannie cleaned up the broken pieces of the glass. She was unable to tell her what she overheard earlier. It wasn't her place to do, but she could at least point her to the right direction. She was a strong women with a life full of experience behind her, people came and leave her life, at first it was hard, but with time it got easier but this girl with her strange clothes was something special. She will be a missing piece, a bright spot of bliss in a world full of gaps. A tear fell down her face mourning for the friend she will lose in order to give her the best chance aside the man she thought was long gone.

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 _This was a bad Idea. This was a very bad Idea. A huge mistake. I can still go and leave. Nobody saw me. I can still run as fast as I can away from here. Just leave. No one will knew I was even here._

Louisa Clark almost threw up while standing in front of the house with her big yellow suitcase that she took with her on her journey nearly a month ago. Her hand that was covered in a band aid from the cut she earned yesterday was hurting from the heavy bag that she was juggeling from one hand to the other on her walk here. 15 minutes passed and she wasn't able to get in. Her stomach was twisting and turning the food that Frannie prepared for her nearly 5 hours ago before she took her to the station. She vanished out of another town in the darkness of the night just like she vanished from this one.

 _I am going to throw up. I can't do this. I will just turn around and leave like nothing happened. Like I was never here. I should have at least left this damn suitcase at home before I came here, now I will have to drag it the whole way back. Okay, I will leave now. Why am I not leaving. Why am I still standing here._

It was 7:55 in the morning and Louisa Clark stood like stone with a raising heart in front of the Traynor residence. Her body wasn't cooperating with her. When she left the train, she thought it was a good Idea to first go to the Traynors house. She thought she owed it to Camilla and Steven to give them her condolence. After all she left them alone in that situation, she didn't even wanted to imagine how they felt accompanying their son to Switzerland. She didn't had to imagine, she knew how it felt. She also wanted to get over with this as soon as possible, deal with her demons, to put it in Frannies words, before she was to terrified to go through with it. So she just stood there, in Camillas carefully taken care of garden trying to move her legs to either take a step closer to the door and ring the bell or to run away. Neither one of those options sounded good so she just stood there hoping to be able to keep her food in. The thought of stepping in that house where all the memories where filled with Will, where he lived in every piece of furniture, in every picture on the wall, in every delicately picked out piece of decoration, was an unbearable heartache. In a way she even wanted to go inside and feel his spirit through the house, feel one more time close to him, breath in the air he was breathing in when he was living in the house. But the memories were to bitter for a fragile heart like hers. So she just stood there with a panic in her heart and a conflict in her soul when the big elegant door opened and to her surprise a tired looking Nathan almost tackled her down. No words came out of him, just a shockingly looking stare. No words came out of her either, she kept staring at him with the same confusion as he did at her.

Just when she tried to regain her ability to speak and ask him why he is still visiting the Traynors house, her mind played a game with her.

 _Great, now not only am I incapable to move myself from the spot I glued myself standing in for the past 20 minutes but I am going crazy too._

Will Traynor rolled up behind Nathan evenly tired looking like his friend and carer. It felt like hours passed while she kept staring with a wide open jaw at this shabby looking ghost that represented Will Traynor in her mind. She knew it was a bad Idea to come here but she didn't know it was this bad. _Going crazy bad_.

But when the ghost in a tone a little louder than a whisper said '' _Clark_ '' she was certain that this was no ghost. She was not crazy. This was her Will Traynor right in front of her. Could it really be? Words where not able to come out of her, a desperate attempt to find her voice, reach towards him ended in a madness inside her. Her head was spinning, her stomach was turning, she desperately wanted to step forward but her feet lost the ability to stand, she collapsed, right there in Camillas garden. _Camilla will be so mad if I destroyed any of her flowers,_ what a silly thought she was thinking about before she lost her conscious and everything in front of her went black.


	13. Chapter 13

**I am finally back from Vacation! Thank you guys for being so patient! I am sending you all my love! - Monrose**

She was running in a long dark hallway that seemed to have no end. The space was tight and claustrophobic. There was no source of light to enlighten her way. The wall that surrounded her was made of cold bricks and somehow the floor beneath her was covered in beautiful flowers that made it difficult to run. A voice far behind her screamed in a high pitch tone - _Not my flowers. No. Don't step on my flowers._ She started to run faster not knowing what she was exactly running from or running towards too. On the wall cracked mugs appeared and while she was trying to guide her way through the tunnel she cut her hand on the cracks. Somewhere in front of her she heard another voice. This voice was deeper, more familiar, leaving a barely understandable whisper to guide her. She hurried faster. _Clark_. Someone was calling her name. She followed the clang, she was almost there. _Clark_. She could hear it clearly. She was so close, the faster she run the brighter the tight hall got. _Clark_. A bright light blinded her. She knew she came where she belonged all along to.

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The morning was painful. Not physically, but emotionally. Will Traynor had no problem to deal with the pain his body put him through. He got used to the excruciating therapies and the bacteria's that would attack his whole body leaving him powerless nailed up to his bed. But he didn't got used to how to deal with the agonizing pain a woman named Louisa Clark put him through. His whole life he didn't know how to deal with deep emotions. From early on in his life there was not much affection. Yes, his parents loved him, but there were not many evidences that would prove that. They were not the affectionate kind of family. Even when he grew up, his life was missing love and affection. Women were always there but neither one of them really mattered. For neither one of them he really cared for, until her. Until Louisa Clark.

When he arrived home in early morning hours, all he wanted to do is to drink his pain away but Nathan made sure to hide all the liquor away from him. So, he spend the rest of the night in his bed thinking about a world where it was the right thing to walk up to her and just say - _Hey, I am still here. I am still alive_. But that was not the right thing anymore. All his life he was selfish, making decisions without giving one care in the world how it would affect others, but she changed him, she made him human. And he knew he changed her a little too. How could he once again disturb her life and putting everything in her world upside down so that he could feel better when he saw what she has done without him to downgrade her. He could not bear to hinder her from love and a life full of achievements she was not able to fulfill with him by her side. So, when the next morning arrived and an overly tired Nathan who slept again in the spare bedroom came into his room to make sure he wouldn't miss his therapy, not in his dreams would he have been able to imagine that on his unwilling departure from his house a shocked Louisa Clark in all her beauty would faint right in front of him. A moment that put himself in the same state of shock as it did her that he could swear he felt his toes twitching.

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"What is she doing here?" a pale Will Traynor asked while Nathan put Louisa Clark to bed.

"She will be fine. She just had a standard shock reaction to seeing you" Nathan explained.

"I am aware of that, but what on earth is she doing here? Just last night we saw her in Staiths" he wanted to touch her so badly but he was scared the touch of her soft skin would internally destroy him.

"I am not a fortuneteller, Will. Your guess is good as mine. Maybe she was ready to come back home. Call it Faith if you want to. She can tell us the whole story when she wakes up"

Nathans words hit him straight back to reality "She can't see me, Nathan. She might decide to stay"

"And that would be a bad thing?" Nathan rolled his eyes at Will "Also, she already saw you hence the fainting, you bloody idiot"

A panicked Will swirled like crazy around the room "She might think it was a dream or hallucination"

"She is not blind, Will. And unlike you, she is not crazy. Just calm your ass down and just be with her. I'll have to go soon but I'll trust you are able to take care of her by yourself"

Will was staring at Louisa Clarks beautiful face. Her shiny hair was falling down so gracefully even when she was lying unconsciousness in his bed. How good she looked in his bed. The look at her lips, so full and red, brought him back to the time when they were touching his. Oh, how he missed her. How many nights he was hoping for this moment to happen. How much he begged for her presence next to his. How much did he only desire for her body to keep him warm on cold nights. Nothing in this world could replace this moment of her coming back to him. He carefully leaned forward and with a lot of strength and will power he kissed her forehead. He took her hand into his and allowed himself to be worthy of the soft touch of her skin. He captured this moment deep down in his heart knowing it can't last.

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"Will!" Louis Clark yelled out the second she woke up. Her head still felt dizzy and it took a moment to get used to the bright light that came from the big open windows. She looked around and it wasn't hard to realize where she was, she found herself in the so familiar bedroom that belonged to Will Traynor. A little smile showed on her face when she noticed a cautiously framed picture of her and Will right across the bed on the elegant shelf that they took on the day of her birthday when he gave her the so bellowed bumblebee tights. But there was no one in the room except her. She knew she wasn't dreaming, she knew what happened earlier was real. There was no single doubt in her that Will Traynor was alive. She couldn't afford to waste any second anymore, too much time was wasted already. She had to find her man. She stood up as fast as she could yelling his name out. She knew she wasn't crazy she could feel his presence. She run out of the bedroom where a lifetime ago she took care of a sick Will Traynor and fell asleep right next to him. Outside she find the door to the garden wide open.

Her heart skipped a beat when she noticed him. There he was, sitting in his wheelchair in the garden with his back facing her. She slowly approached him from behind with an unexplainable fear inside her that she would scare him off if she would make a to sudden move. With every step her heartbeat raised a little faster. Two meters away from him she allowed herself a gentle whisper.

"Will" she said softly with sudden tears that appeared in her eyes. He slowly turned around and gave her one of his best sassy smiles. "Clark" he said in this so familiar tone of voice that she missed uncontrollably.

Before she was able to say something her legs hurried towards him and she throw herself into his arms. To her own surprise he hugged her back but she was not able to ask any questions, the only thing she was able to do is to cry from happiness into his shoulder while he gently rubbed her back. This was long overdue. How she needed to feel him, she wasn't even aware. How many emotions did she push down in this short month she was gone. She didn't even know. It felt so good. The taste of his neck felt so marvelous on her lips. This is where she belonged all along. Right in his arms. She was finally home.


	14. Chapter 14

What would you do if everything inside you would tell you to let go and move on. What would you do if the best thing for the woman you love is when you are not a part of her life. Could you leave that easily? Could you let go? Would you be able to live your life without her in order to prevent being an obstacle in hers. Could you manage to disappear in order to give her the best chance to live out her potentials. Would you have the strength to be that selfless? There's was a reason Will Traynor never truly loved before Louisa Clark, there was a reason he used to be happy alone never truly opening to anybody. It was not only that before her there was no one really worthy for him to share his love with but what frightened him the most was the thought of loving someone so deeply and than everything falling apart. That thought used to make him more scared than his accident ever did. Before her it was so much easier to be alone, but now he learned to love and he knew he needed her love, but could he really have it. Losing love is worse than the damage his accident left behind. He knew now he could easily survive another accident, but could he survie letting her go?

The choices seemed so simple. Stay or leave. But the soft touches of Louisa Clarks lips on Will Traynors neck made things everything but not simple. He was broken until her comeback, now he felt mended, but his head was screaming to let go. His heart was telling him to stay and hold on. Could he do that to her. Could he really bind her to him and not allow her to grow. His life was complete now that she was here, everything seemed brighter and full of color. He never wanted to let go, he wanted her forever to sit in his lap and rub her back. He wanted to smell the delicious flavor of her shiny hair until they grow old and taste the salty tears that were running down her silky face. He wanted to kiss her forehead, her lips, her cheeks, every part of her body. He never wanted this moment to stop. But could he do it. Could he really allow himself to be that selfish?

His heart broke once again in million little pieces when he pushed her away and whispered ''Clark, you have to go''

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12 hours later

It was late at night. Not many sources of light were illuminating the shabby old street. Most houses were already swallowed in the darkness of the night. Outside it was chilly, you could easily feel autumn in the air. The night sky was clear in his glorious dark blue color with sparkling stars shining next to a remarkable full moon. The street was empty except for a weary young woman holding a little boy in her arms that was already sound asleep, making her way up home.

When Katrina Clark entered her house with her sleepy son in her arms, she wasn't surprised when the shadow that was sitting in the living room appeared to be her sister. She was excepting her since yesterday.

''Where have you been all day?'' the cold tone of her sisters voice didn't suit a usual joyful Louisa.

''I took Thomas to a country excursion before we leave for college tomorrow morning. Let me take him to bed. I don't think this is a conversation we both want to have in front of him'' Katrina knew where they conversation would lead to. She left the living room and took Thomas upstairs. When she returned she changed into her pajamas.

''So, I really want to hear what excuse can you give me for knowing the truth all this time. Knowing where I am, knowing that he was alive and making improvements but making a decision to keep it from both of us. What excuse do you have for potentially destroying both of our life's. Mine and Wills.'' Louisa jumped on her sister immediately.

''I wish you wouldn't see it that way, Lou. I really wish you wouldn't blame me. When you called me, at first I wanted to tell you. Even mum and dad wanted to tell you when you called the house but you didn't let them. But, I decided to keep quite cause you seemed so happy. You said it yourself. You were independent and happy and I didn't want to take this opportunity away from you''

Louisa just angrily smirked at her sister words. ''But you could have take away the opportunity from me to be happy with the man that I love. Do you even know how miserable I felt thinking he died? Have you any Idea how terrible it felt to wake up every single morning in tears from nightmares about Will?'' she raised her voice but manage to get some control of herself in order to not wake up her nephew.

''I know my sorry won't mean anything to you. Believe me when I say that I wish that I could have share the pain with you. When I saw Will and realized how miserable he was I regret my decision instantly. I wanted to make it right. But I won't regret giving you your freedom for at least a month'' Katrina came closer to her sister hoping she would accept her words. Louisa moved away not accepting her sister gesture.

''Katrina, you didn't give me anything. Except pain. And what do I get from it. A Will Traynor who doesn't want to have anything with me cause he wants me to live out my potentials and according to him, he would be just a burden in my journey''

''But he is right, Lou. You should live out your potentials. You have been stuck to long in this old town. You should go and live. See the world, take crazy trips, try weird food and experience other cultures. You have always been aimed for bigger things than this. And you know that. I know that.'' Katrina took Louisa's hand and didn't let go even when her sister tried to fight it off.

''But I don't want to do any of those things if the price I have to pay is to never be with Will again''

''Than go, Lou. Go and tell him that. Go and fight for it'' Louisa looked at her sister and took a moment to register her words.

''GO!'' Katrina yelled at her again.

Louisa stormed to the front door and opened it but then she suddenly turned around.

''Treena. I know you meant good. But please, don't ever do anything that you think is the best for me'' And off she was into the dark night leaving the front door wide open behind her.

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By this point of his life, Will Traynor was used to sleepless nights. It wasn't the lack of sleep that bothered him, a lifetime ago before his accidents he never used to sleep much either. He thought of it as a waste of time. There were too many things to do or learn that he would rather do than sleep so he thought his body to function with less sleep. What bothered him were the endless thoughts that he was unable to silence. The thoughts of Louisa and the life he would and wouldn't life with her. The liquor used to help with it. The truth is the liquor wouldn't really silence his thoughts or make him think about anything else but at least it would make him forget for a while. But there was no liquor around for days, Nathan made sure to hide everything he possible could from him. So, all he could do was to get lost in his thoughts while staring at the picture of them that was placed right across his bed.

While with every knew thought of her beautiful face the level of pain inside him raised all he could do was to push through it, a loud noise thankfully disturbed his thoughts and an out of breath Louisa entered the room.

''No'' she shouted out immediately ''No, Will. You will not make this decision for us. You will not push me out of your life again. You want me to live out my potentials? Live my life fully? See the world? Make a career in fashion? Fine. I'll do it. But with one condition. I'll do all of that with you by my side''

Will pushed himself up with his hands to a sitting position and tried with all his strength to stay like this and not slip. He was so happy to see her, but he looked away. He couldn't agree to her condition, he knew he would just be a constant burden in her life.

Louisa came closer. Working all this month's as his carer she knew exactly how uncomfortable he felt so he adjusted his pillows to give him a support from behind so that he wouldn't have to hold himself.

''I won't leave and you know that'' she said while gently touching his cheeks.

''Don't you ever listen to me, Clark? You don't know how to except a 'No' for an answer'' Will said sarcastically and took her hand into his.

''There is someone who once told me to never accept a 'No' for an answer'' She kissed his forehead.

''What a foolish man that must have been'' Will closed his eyes and enjoyed her gentle touches.

''Do we have a deal?'' she said while coming closer to his lips.

''Yes'' Will managed to whisper before he got lost into her kisses.

Louisa carefully climbed on top of him and kept kissing his neck. He gently rubbed her back and in a slow and delicate gesture he took of her dress. With the same delicateness she took off his shirt and pants. She kept kissing his neck that gave him Goosebumps on his whole body. He desired her so intensely, he desperately wanted to taste her. He run his fingers down her breastbones. She slowly moved down kissing his muscular torso. With every knew kiss his heart raised a little higher. He touched her perky breasts and massaged her nipples gently while she moved closer and closer more down. She lifted her head and locked deep into his eyes while she moved his boxer shorts away and started to slowly climb on top of him letting him enter her. She let herself drift away in the distinctive and magical feeling of Will Traynor deep inside her. She leaned forward while ridding him first very slowly but with every knew move the passion in both of them raised so she stared to ride him faster and faster while he was kissing her breast. He grabbed her soft ass and helped her with her movements by lifting her smooth ass with his hands until they both didn't reach the high point of the beautiful climax that overwhelmed them with joy and pleasure.


	15. Chapter 15

The sun showed his first vibrant rays early in the morning, glancing behind the elegant curtains, lightening up the bedroom in the annex that had the beautiful view of a delicately taken care of garden that now had a few ripped flowers among them which was the fault of a clumsy woman that was now lying sound asleep in Will Traynors arms. He, on the other hand was wide awake. For the first time in a very long time he slept peacefully the night through and Louisa Clarks presence in his bed was the evidence that what had happened was not an imagination of a crazy man. It was real. Since the moment he woke up he observed the lines on her heart shaped face. Not a single care in the world was visible. He inspected every inch of her body that was only a couple of hours ago on top of him making things possible that he crossed from his mind a long time ago. He was taking in all of her beauty that was curled up with her legs and arms on him, holding up on his muscular chest with her hands like she wanted to say she will never let go again. Her eyelids were closed leaving her long eyelashes hanging in the air. She slept calm and quite with her plumed red lips slightly open. Her breathing was deep and relaxed. With every expiration she made it would tickle his skin but he couldn't dare to move and wake her relaxed presence up.

Louisa gave out a quite moan from the sunlight that was bathing her skin and blinding her eyes. Her mind was still cloudy trying to hold on to the alluring dream that she didn't want to let go yet, but the feeling of his bare chest under her resting head made her realize that it wasn't a dream. She lifted her head and blinked at him, the sun was still bothering her eyes but she wanted to capture this moment and treasure it in her heart forever.

''Good morning, Clark'' he smiled at her the way only Will Traynor was able to. Sweet and arrogant at the same time. She slowly leaned forward allowing herself to come closer to his face feeling the warmth of his breath brushing the top of her lips. ''Good morning'' she whispered right before she passionately kissed him, letting once again the feeling of his soft lips on hers make her drift away into another world. To a world where fireworks and explosions went off right above them celebrating their reunited love.

She adjusted his pillows helping him to sit in a comfortable position and leaned her head back on his chest while she gently tickled his torso. He was firmly holding her into his arms never wanting to let go again.

''When did you make improvements?'' she finally dared to ask.

He took a moment before he answered not wanting to go back into the memories of the night he almost ruined their both life's. ''It was the exact moment after you stormed out that rainy night from the annex. I was so desperate I broke my mother's expensive vase. I bet she is still a little heartbroken because of that'' he took a deep breath and continued ''I run after you. Nathan took me to your parents house. But you were already gone. We tried to catch up with you at the train station but we precisely arrived the moment the train left the station''

''Will... I had no Idea'' Louisa was surprised to hear all that. Yesterday morning when he pushed her away they didn't had a chance to talk. All information she was able to get from him was that Katrina told him where she was and that he came looking for her but changed his mind. She looked deep into his eyes and continued ''back than you wanted to die and I couldn't stay here and be a part of that. It was too hard to handle, I desperately needed to get away from here. If I only knew...''

''Shhh'' Will interrupted her ''It wasn't your fault. If it was anyone's fault, it was mine. The moment you stormed out, I realized something that was clear to everyone except me. I didn't want to die, I didn't want to go to Switzerland, not since you came into my life. I was just too caught up into my bubble of misery that I got so used to that I failed to see what was obvious''

Louisa eyes filled up with tears from Wills words. ''Will I am so happy that we are here together now''

''Oh, Clark, don't get all whiney on me now. Where is that strong bumblebee girl now?'' he hugged her a little stronger.

''I just wish we didn't lose all this time. If Treena only spoke up earlier. I am so mad that...''

''No'' Will interrupted her again. ''It is not her fault. I was mad at her too at first, but she did what she thought was the best for you. She gave you what I always wanted you to have, a chance for freedom and independence'' Will kissed her forehead ''We are together now, and that is what matters''

''No more any of your burden nonsense?'' Louisa asked carefully looking at Will with one raised eyebrow.

Will rolled his eyes ''No more talk about Will Traynor being a horrible burden to the women with stripy legs. Now tell me about your life in Staithes. Why did you decide to comeback coincidently the same day Nathan and me came looking for you'' Will put on a serious face.

''Before that you have to answer me a question'' Louisa took a deep breath and continued carefully ''We agreed about no 'burden talk' but you never told me why you came all the way up to Staithes and then changed your mind about finding me''

Will looked away and Louisa could feel that for a moment he wanted to push her away again but he looked again into her eyes and leaned his head on to hers. ''The truth is, Clark, that I did find you. I came to the coffee shop you worked for but I saw you holding hands with another man. I thought I would do you a favor staying out of your life, letting you be happy and fulfilling your dreams without me as a constant misfortune in your life''

Louisa was confused. She wasn't sure who was Will talking about. A men holding her hand. But then she looked at her hand and saw the band aid and stared to laugh. Her reaction left Will thrown off guard. ''I am sorry Will'' she was barely able to talk through her laughter. She raised her hand and pointed with the other at her band aid ''No one was holding my hand. I cut myself that day, and Kyle the men you saw was cleaning my wound''

The only thing Will could get out of himself was a quite ''Oh...''

"Oh Will, you fool. How could you even think that I would be able to even consider another man'' she gently kissed his check ''At that time I thought you were dead. My heart was broken in half and I thought it would never be able to heal again completely. You were always on my mind''

''I am sorry I put you through this, Clark'' he will forever hate himself a little for what he did to her. ''Now tell me finally about your life in Staithes and why you came back''

''To be honest, it was good and bad. Good because I made a friend for life. Frannie, my boss. There is no word to describe her generosity and kindness. She let me work at the caffe and gave me a sewing machine making me sew clothes for her and the whole town. The people were friendly and welcoming. And I will miss them. It was bad because you weren't there. At that time I thought you were dead, and then there were moments when I allowed myself to get busy and caught up into work and life in Staithes and I would forget for a moment. And then something would happen. Something funny at the caffe, and my first instinct was to pick up the phone and tell you about it and then I would remember, you were dead. At least that is what I thought. Those were the worst moments. But I had Frannie, she always knew how to make me feel better. You would love her. She is such an amazing women. Full of life. She was always ready to listen whenever I needed to let my steam off about my misery. She was there through everything. She was also the reason I came back. She made me. I still don't know why, but I am glad she did'' Louisa curled up a little tighter into Wills arms.

Will remembered the women they asked the way to the caffe thinking it could have been Frannie but he brushed that thought off thinking it would have been a too big coincidence. He hugged Louisa tighter and whispered ''I am glad you are here now, no matter what made you come back''

Louisa kissed his lips again, slow and passionate slipping her tongue into his mouth, biting his lip while looking deeply into his eyes. He moved the shirt he gave her last night to sleep in from her body and she slowly climbed again on top of him. Both of them were too deeply invested into their kissing that hey didn't hear a sound around them until a high pitched scream that would more suit a child than a grown man didn't interrupt them and scared a half naked Louisa so much that she fell of the bed.

''God, Nathan. Is seing me making out with a girl so disturbing you have to scare the whole town'' Will gave him a serious stare and rolled his eyes at him.

Nathan turned around looking at the floor from embarrassment ''Sorry guys, I just came to pick up WIll for therapy, I didn't except to run into this scene. I mean, I am glad I did. I mean, I am not glad I did. I am glad, you two made up. But I am...''

''Before you pee your pants why don't you go and prepare us all breakfast until we get ready'' Will interrupted his mumbling.

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A little while later, the three of them where sitting around the dinning table enjoying the delicacies that Nathan, who was still red from embarrassment, prepared for them. The three friends laughed and talked. Louisa enjoyed the look of Will being able to cut his food by himself. Even though she missed the moments when she had to feed him and how intimate and connected they made them, but she smiled because now they had a new sweeter way to become more intimate and connected on a higher level. Outside the sun was still shining and the ground was already covered in the colorful leaves that were signifying autumn. Birds were chirping somewhere in the distant on the high trees that were slowly losing their leafs. It was idyllic. What a shame that the next disaster was already behind the corner.


	16. Chapter 16

**Thank you so much for all of your love and support. Every follow, favorite an review make me really happy and keep pushing me forward to write this story. I hope you will enjoy this chapter. Your reviews are appreciative, positive or negative ones, only that way I can improve this story and myself as a writer, so don't hold back. I am sending you all my love - Monrose.**

Camilla Traynor awakened tired, almost like she haven't slept at all. Her work exhausted her but it was the only thing that she had these days left that kept her going. The other side of the king size bed that was covered in expensive silk sheets was empty suggesting that her husband was already gone. She caught him sleeping when she came back home late last night from a business trip that she didn't even want to participate but she didn't know any better. Work is what maintained to make her life feel normal when everything around her felt dysfunctional. He looked so lovely and peaceful, almost young again. For a while, she dared to observe him, something she hadn't done in years. Remembering the early days of her marriage life that were filled with love and happiness. Nowadays the two of them barely look at each other. Sharing the same bed, but living as stranger under a big house. Every once in a while she ventured to ask herself if there was any love left for her inside him.

Her family was important to her, all she tried lately is to keep them together, create something what they once used to be, but everything slipped under her, the more she tried, she felt like she failed. The happiness of her son was essential, if not the most important thing in the world. Louisa Clark was the key to it, but she wasn't able to find her. Two private investigators failed at it, how could she do any better than them.

She took the day off today to spend it with her son. He will despite her for it, consider it his misfortune to be stuck with his mother, but sadly, she admitted to herself, she was already used to his despite that a little more wasn't even able to hurt her anymore. She was out of options, to many things she had pushed under the rug, her husband's cheating, her sons drinking, her disinterested daughter, and nowadays it felt like any given minute the rug would explode. Where did she go wrong. Where did she only fail as a wife and mother. It has been months, maybe years since she has felt sincerely loved. She thought of Louisa Clark and the love her son felt for her. The truth is, she never disliked Louisa Clark, she just didn't know anyone like her before. People like her don't encounter her world.

She stood out of the bed and glanced at her sad presence in the mirror. She was a proud woman. A successful one, she was someone people would respect and fear and yet every day when she came back to her home she felt so small. Every day before she left her bedroom she put a mask on, a cold facade that kept the pain that was building up all this year's hidden.

She went down the elegant staircase and went to the hallway that lead to the annex fearing in what kind of condition she would find Will, hoping he wasn't lying drunk in his own vomit, but with every step she approached and came closer to the big sliding door that lead to her sons specially designed chambers she heard something that was missed in this house for so long. Loud laugher was clearly hiding on the other side of the door. She just stood there and enjoyed the sound of it, feeling like an intruder, not daring to enter, sensing that she would only disturb this beautiful noise with her presence. She collected some courage and dared to open the big sliding door that lead her to a idyllic breakfast scene between her son, Nathan and to her surprise - Louisa Clark.

''Mother.'' Will was surprised to see her. In the past two days so much has happen that he slightly forgot about his parents living on the other side of the house.

''Good morning, darling. I didn't had the intentions to break up this beautiful scene. I wanted to inform you that I am back from my business trip and that I took the day off to accompany you to your therapy but I see now that you have that covered'' she said while successfully hiding her disappointment of the taken opportunity to spend the day with her son. She turned her head to Louisa and managed to produce a little polite smile ''Welcome back, Louisa''

Louisa rashly stood up out of her chair ''Good Morning Mrs. Traynor. I came back yesterday. I am now back home. I was gone for a while, living in Staiths. I didn't know Will was alive. I came yesterday. I think I already said that. I...'' Louisa could feel all eyes on her, and Will and Nathan glancing at her with a big question on their faces that was saying What are you doing? Camilla Traynor always made her feel like she did something wrong. She felt inferior around her. There was a need inside her to immediately explain her departure and comeback.

To her surprise, Camilla Traynor put her hand on her shoulder and genuinely said ''I am really glad, you are back'' She moved her hand as quickly from her shoulder as she put it there and looked at her son ''Does that mean, I am putting Ms. Clark as your plus one for the autumn ball tonight?''

''Oh, the ball. I completely forgot about that. Well, if Louisa is up for it, than yes, of course, she will accompany me tonight'' Both Will and Camilla were looking at Louisa waiting for a response.

''Ball? What ball?'' is all what Louisa was able to say in her confusion.

''It is the annual autumn ball. I, as the representative of our family, am a part of the organization committee with a few other members from our community. The ball serves for gathering donations for the cause which we select as the one that is needed most. This year we selected the local hospital.'' Camilla explained. When she saw Louisa face expression she added ''Don't worry, you will have fun''

''It is basically a bunch of rich people that doesn't know what to do with all their money dressing up and getting drunk but in this case the hospital profits from those drunk rich asses'' Will couldn't help himself but to make a snarky comment in his style.

''I, expect you, as a part of this drunk rich community to be well behaved and ready at 8 o clock sharp'' Camilla surprised everyone with her comment, because she didn't sound angry or irritated, she sounded amused.

Will nodded and gave out a silent ''Whatever''.

''Would you like to join us, Mrs. Traynor?'' Louisa pointed at the empty chair next to her.

''Camilla, please'' she gave out a polite smile ''Thank you, Louisa, but I think you three will have a more joyful breakfast without me''

''Camilla, I insist'' Louisa said while pulling out the empty chair next to hers.

''Oh. Well, I guess, I can stay for a little croissant'' she looked at Will while saying that, hoping to not get any despised comments, but he was occupied with his food. ''Nathan, I would love to see you too tonight. It would mean a lot to me. Of course, if your work will not be in the way'' she said while sitting down on the chair.

''Mother, you don't need to make every person you know to go to the boring ball'' he was still fighting to spread the marmalade around his bread.

''I would love to, Mrs. Traynor'' Nathan said while giving Will a grouchy stare.

''Louisa, you are also welcome to invite a friend if you want to'' Camilla said before she took a bite of her croissant.

''My plus one gets a plus one?'' Will sneered while finally finishing up the marmalade.

A few moments later, when they finished up their breakfast, Louisa, Nathan and Will were heading towards the door leaving for Will's therapy while Camilla kept sitting on the chair not feeling invited when suddenly she heard Will yelling ''Mother are you coming or not?'' She stood up as quickly as she could and run towards her son.

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''Katrina Clark, you owe me big time'' Louisa was yelling at her sister over the phone.

''Lou, I just got back to college, I just can't leave now and miss classes so I could go to a ball with you'' Katrina was desperate. She knew she owed her sister big time, but she couldn't just ditch her classes like that.

''Yes, you can. And yes you will. Or I will drive up to get you. I am serious. I can't go under those sharks by myself'' Louisa was determent.

''Fine, I'll take the next train. Tell mom and dad they have to keep an eye on Thomas tonight'' she sighed not sounding one bit excited.

''Great, thank you so much. I'll see you tonight'' Louisa hung up and jumped off her bed. She really didn't want to go at all, but she felt that Camilla's invite wasn't something she could have said no to. It wasn't really that she thought she wouldn't have fun, or that she needed Katrina as her back up support system, it was more like a feeling inside that was telling her that something was off. She felt like something will go horribly wrong.

How right she was.


	17. Chapter 17

A red dress, tight and feminine, made out of delicate satin, felt down her body so perfectly. The dresses tight structure was clinging around her body showing off her curves so exquisitely, the back was open uncovering her soft skin, leading down to the fabric into a perfect triangle right above her bottom. At front the attention felt at the lace lining around her neckline. The gown complimented her body's curves. It was simple and timeless, with a touch of the out of ordinary, just like her.

Louisa Clark stepped out of the limousine that Will Traynor send out to pick her up clinging onto her sisters arms like a scared toddler that had to leave his mother's side for the first time. The big white building felt intimidating with his high walls and classic columns. The elegant French windows where decorating the building's exterior with a timeless elegance. The marble stairs that now had a ramp added where leading to the exquisite entrance. Everything around her screamed expensive and she never felt more out of place than she did at that moment. Then she noticed him at the top of the stairs, sitting in his wheelchair, looking so elegant in his black suit. He was smiling down at her. Slowly not letting go of her sisters arms, she climbed one stair after the other, coming closer towards him with every new step.

''I am a man on a date with a woman in a red dress'' he said while stretching his arm towards her.

She conscientiously let go of her sisters hand and took his while leaning forward towards his happy face. ''I am glad you are enjoying yourself Mr. Traynor'' she said before she gave him a gentle kiss on his warm lips.

''You look beautiful, Clark'' he said while glancing at her beautifully shaped body that was even more visible in this dress. ''And so do you'' he politely added while moving his head towards Katrina.

''Thank you'' Katrina gave out a shy smile.

''Please, let me introduce you to Nathan, he will be escorting you inside'' Will pointed at an uncomfortably looking Nathan who just like Louisa felt out of place, she could easily tell by his face expression.

''It is nice to meet you'' he said while giving out his arm for het to hold on to.

''Shall we?'' Will said while giving a look to all three of them. Louisa, Nathan and Katrina desperately tried to hide the anxiety that this place made them feel. Everyone gave out a nod and slowly they entered through the exquisite door and came into an equally elegant hall that was fitted so perfectly into this building with his expensive mahogany floors and big paintings hanging on the walls. Carefully they came closer towards the ball room, already in the hall you could have heard the music, with a powerful melody that must have came out of a violin.

A security guard that stood in front of the door nodded towards Will and simply said ''Mr. Traynor'' as a form of greeting while opening the door to the ballroom for them.

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She glanced at the expensive white gold watch on her slim wriest. He was late. That suited him perfectly. He always came and go when he wanted. Time never really mattered to him, to be honest nothing ever really did, expect maybe himself.

''It is nice to see you'' an elderly woman that worn out her Botox approached her.

''It is great to see you too'' she kissed her cheek not having the slightest Idea who she was. But in this society you could not give away your ignorance so she went on with the so well known course of the small talk. _You look good. No, you look better. Have you heard the latest gossip? How are the kids? Where did you get the dress from? Can you give me the number of your plastic surgeon?_

She was already on her third glass of champagne that gave her courage to avoid the avid questions about the absence of her husband. Oh, _he had to work. You know how busy he is_. But she wasn't here to chit chat about her husband and about her potentially already failed marriage. She had to make sure if the rumors where true. The word was going around that Will Traynor made improvements with his disability and was now able to make regular hand movements all by himself. She wouldn't care less for this absurd charity ball if she didn't find out that he send out his RSVP with an sure yes.

She took the forth glass of champagne out of the tray from a passing waiter when she noticed four figures entering the ballroom. One of them in a wheelchair, holding the hand of that woman, (his servant wasn't she?) who was clinging onto him revealing with her anxious face expression that she didn't belong here. He was handsome. Just as she remembered him years ago, before the accident. Wearing his expensive suit with such elegance, but most importantly wearing his irresistible arrogant smile that everyone used to fell in love with instantly. He was finally his former self, not angry and wretched anymore. He came back to himself. The rumors where true, he was getting better, she thought while observing him from the dark corner with her glass of champagne in her hand.

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If she thought the building's exterior intimidate her, than she had to reconsider again while entering the big ball room that was so enormous her house would easily fit five times into it. With an uncontrollably heart raise she took in all the rooms frightening beauty. The podium was simple and classic with an whole orchestra playing powerful melodies adding to the expensive atmosphere with the seductive clang of the violin. A beautiful fountain was set on the right side giving the room an even more marvelous look. The tables where round decorated in white and red colors with expensive flower decorations on them even though no one was really sitting around them yet, people mingled around talking and showing off their expensive gowns. The room felt like from a different time, suited for a movie about a love story settled somewhere in the decade of the 60s when everyone was still wearing suits and dresses on a daily basis. Her anxiety raised with every new minute that she found herself in there, she was glad that Will hold her hand because she felt like she would lose her conscious again. Inside herself she send out a gratitude towards Nathan and Katrina being here, not making her facing this all by herself.

An irritated looking Camilla with Steven in her hands approached them. ''William, why do you always have to show up the last. Find your table now, the program almost haven't started'' she nodded towards the group and left leaving a confused Steven behind who wasn't sure to follow her or stay with the group but her face expression from across the room was suggesting that he should rush towards her.

''Excuse my mother'' Will explained while everyone got seated at their table ''this is her first social appearance since my accident so she is a little more irritated than usual, even though there is barely a difference between her normal self and her irritated self'' he added amusing everyone around him. ''She participated into the organization and donation the past two years but she didn't find the courage to show up and get the pity talk about her disabled, but handsome son'' he winked at Louisa who was still tightly holding his hand.

''Your mother allowed me to sit down and stop following her like a lost puppy'' Steven took a seat at the table. ''I don't think I have been able to introduce myself to you earlier'' he reached his hand out towards Katrina ''I am Steven, Will's father. You must be Nathans date?''

Katrina almost choke on the champagne she just took a sip off. She managed to shake Stevens hand while through an unpleasant cough she handled to say ''I am Katrina, Louisa's sister''

''Also Nathan's date'' Will added amusingly while Nathan gave him a deathly stare through his blushed face.

''Good evening everyone'' a confident Camilla approached the microphone and to Katrina's and Nathans fortune she took the attention of them. ''It is such a pleasure to see you all getting together supporting our local hospital. We have been carefully planning this ball for the past couple of weeks and as a person and mother who has been personally attached to that hospital by the unfortunate faith of my son I can assure you the wonderful work of the staff that has been providing to their patience. Today we hope we can raise enough money to make that job for that hardworking crew a little bit easier. I hope you will all be generous with your donations that you can leave in the glass box on the podium. Have a fantastic time tonight''

''Ah, It wouldn't be a good speech if she would forget to add her beloved son into it'' Will mocked through his mothers speech.

Louisa finished her glass of champagne a little too quickly grabbing to the next one, trying to calm her insides from the discomfort she hoped she was able to hide a little bit.

''Easy there'' Will said while looking at her shaking legs ''Everything is going to be fine'' he gently whispered into her ear and kissed her neck that made the hair on her neck raise. She looked deeply into his eyes and gave him a soft kiss on his lips.

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The rage inside her raised with every minute she was observing them, this time from her table that was set far enough behind him so he wasn't able to notice her yet. How dare he to kiss that servant. Doesn't he know she don't belong here? She despised her seating arrangement, she clang onto her champagne glass. Her sixth? Seventh? She couldn't remember anymore. The annoying woman next to her talked her ear off, and she wasn't in the mood to pretend like she was slightly interested into anything that she had to say. Her focus was on Will who was gently whispering something into that servants ear. What was her name again? She couldn't remember. Her name didn't matter anyways she was just a silly servant girl.

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Happiness overcame her while looking at Will who felt so relaxed and casual amusing all of them with ridiculous anecdotes about the party guests. She didn't know if she ever saw him so carefree. He seemed happy being here, he fitted in so perfectly with his elegance and seductive charm. Inside she desperately wished she could feel like the princess he treated her but the truth was she felt like she strayed into the wrong place and got lost under the wrong crowd. Every once in a while someone approached their table to greet Will and introduce themselves with a lot of curiosity to Louisa. It was undeniable to see what their thought was. She felt the looks but everyone knew she didn't really belonged here. No dress could hide that.

And then she came, approaching them from behind, leaning her hand on Wills chair and saying with a vibrant seductive voice ''Hello, William. It is so good to see you'' Alicia stood there in all her beauty seducing everyone around her with her long legs that were hidden behind her golden gown. Her long blond her seemed shinier and wherever she walked by she left a flowery scent behind. If Louisa wasn't intimidate by than she had to call for her defeat now.

''Alicia, it is good to see you'' Will said politely but you could feel the distance in his tone ''I hope you and Rupert are having a good time tonight''

''It is just me tonight'' she said and leaned towards his ear and whispered ''I hope we could have a talk alone later tonight''

''I think you remember Louisa'' Will said not wanting to give her the pleasure to acknowledge her words.

''I remember, your servant, right?'' She looked down at her chair making Louisa feel even smaller ''It is nice to see you''

Before Louisa could have said anything Will cut her off and sullenly said ''Louisa. My girlfriend''

It was the first time Louisa ever heard him call her like that. She suddenly felt like she had the world rooting for her. A feeling of joy overcame her body. His girlfriend. For some reason she never thought of herself like that. What a wonderful word. What an exquisite feeling. A dream she didn't even dare to wish for came true. And suddenly she felt more relaxed regardless to Alicia's intimidating beauty right in front of her.

''Oh, your girlfriend'' Alicia acted surprised like she haven't been observing them the whole evening. ''That must have been a true social jump for you'' she added snobbishly.

Before Louisa or Will were able to say anything Steven jumped in ''Alicia, I think it is time for you to go back to your table''

With a high head and a bitter expression she left their table.

''Please don't let her get to you. She is just being a bitch'' Will said softly while caressing Louisas cheek.

''Your girlfriend. Ha?'' to his surprise she smiled at him not caring one bit about Alicia.

''Uhm... I mean, yes. I thought... We haven't talked about it. But... Uhm... If you want to. I mean. I can understand if you don't want to be my girlfriend'' Will tangled over his words losing his coolness.

''Oh, you silly man. Of course I want to be your girlfriend. I just never heard you call me like that'' She took his hands into hers leaning her hand on his shoulder silently whispering ''I love you, Will Traynor''

''I love you, Clark'' he said while squeezing her hand whishing that they were alone in the bedroom right now.

Louisa finally truly relaxed. She was able to allow herself to enjoy the world that the ball brought her into. That she somehow stumbled into, not feeling anymore like a rambler, feeling like a true princess in her delicate gown that suited her perfectly and was stealing looks from everyone around.

Later when she made her way onto the bathroom, an overly tipsy Alicia grabbed her arm and squeezed it firmly with her freshly polished nails. ''You know very well, you don't belong here. You are just a servant girl who had the luck to take advantage of an broken man. These events are made to help someone like you and you are walking around like you belong here with your cheap dress''

Alicia's face was so closely to Louisa's that she was able to feel her angry breath on hers that was smelling like to much alcohol. Alicia hold on to her arm like an irritated cat and she could feel her nails stabbing her soft skin.

''Stop it now, Alicia'' a voice behind her approached. She was surprised to see Camilla. Alicia slowly let go of her keeping her angry face expression. ''I think you have had enough and it is time for you to go home. You should leave now before I have you escorted out''

''You will have _me_ escorted out'' Alicia raised her voice grabbing the attention of the people standing close by. ''Camilla you know where well who I am''

''Yes, Alicia. I actually know very well who you are. You are a gold digging fallen woman who's father tried to hide his bankruptcy by rashly selling out his daughter to the first alleged bachelor with millions on his accounts who was willing to marry you. So please leave before I call security'' Camilla stood calmly not losing her smooth presence for a second.

Alicia was horrified with the words she just heard. How could she possible know? How did she dare to stand on the side of that ridiculous servant girl? The anger inside her raged, her pulse raised to an uncontrollable tempo that she wasn't able to control. She was humiliated. Before she could think it through she grabbed Louisa that stood so small in front of her tall presence and pushed her into the fountain. When she realized what she has done she stormed out leaving all guests confused staring at the wet Louisa who was still sitting mortified in the fountain. How bad, this wasn't the last fiasco for the evening.


	18. Chapter 18

**I am sorry for the delay, I have been busy with work and took another short trip, and next to that my neighbor has constructions done so the circumstances were not the best to write but I gave my all. I hope you will love this chapter. But, before we all go into the next chapter I wanted to address Layla - Unfortunately I couldn't find your blog, but if you leave a link or PM me I'll make sure to read it. Another thing I wanted to address, since it has been asked - No, I don't use AO3, I only write on this site. And the last thing - A big thanks to everyone who is following this story, I can't believe it is already Chapter 18! I really do hope you like the progress of the story. I am always looking forward to read your reviews, constructive criticism and opinions so please don't hesitate to comment. That is the only way I can improve myself. With all my love - Monrose!**

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She disguised herself as a waitress tenuously waiting for his arrival. On the balcony with a marvelous view at the garden she nervously lit up a cigarette, ignoring the flowers behind her and observing the high society of England dressed up in their ridiculous clothes flashing each other with their enormous jewels while fighting each other in a fierce competition who will get drunker and donate more money. The rivalry of the richest, the dirty fights they fought with a Botox smile on their face while pretending that they are all so friendly discussing rich people problems about incompatible help and the terrible service at the 5 star hotel they stayed in Aspen, Tuscany or any other so called fancy destination. She knew all those discussions to well.

She wasn't afraid that someone might recognize her, after all the rich never really tend to look at the faces of people they considered insignificant. All they cared where the glasses of champagne on her tray. Blondie in the gold gown already had a few too much and the evening didn't even start properly. She, as well, allowed herself a glass of champagne to calm her inner explosion of feelings down while she craved for more but the awareness of the significances of the day kept her sober. She was just putting out her cigarette on the glass ashtray on the small table beside her when she noticed him lost in a conversation with a group of people near the entrance. She foolishly hid herself behind the big column that was decorating the exterior on the balcony. While collecting the courage to take another peek inside she was furious at herself when she noticed that she lost him in the crowd. She took another tray and got lost under the rich people who were by now sitting at their tables. While the elderly woman started her speech and Blondie gratefully took another drink from her tray she spotted him sitting with the same crowd he was talking earlier at the table. It seems that she wasn't the only one who was observing him, Blondie also kept her focus on him completely ignoring Mrs. I-am-to-vain-to-realize-that-I-am-to-old-for-this-dress next to her.

It was only a miracle that she didn't drop her tray when she allowed herself to get closer and take in every inch of his face. His features were typical for someone his kind, somehow privileged almost royally with a certain arrogance. His eyes were glaring, with little wrinkles from laughter that gave him a more courteous look. He, as expected, wasn't even bothered to take a glance at her. He was to mesmerized by the woman in the red dress next to him, holding her hand and whispering something into her ear. The woman took a drink from her tray politely saying thank you. It was the first acknowledgment she got that evening. She instantly knew she liked her. It wasn't hard to not notice that she wasn't from this world. Not only her politeness towards the help gave her away but the frightened look on her face that was suggesting that she would rather be somewhere else than spending her evening surrounded by those sharks. A feeling of compassion pinched her body, she felt like she found the only ally in this evening that was implying for the richest win, and the outsiders loss.

The rest of the evening she stayed nearby, inhaling every single gesture he made, soaking up his words that she managed to overhear over the annoying music and the irritating faked laughter of the drunk crowd. She tried to eardrop the anecdote he was telling to the men with the Australian accent when she noticed the woman in the red dress stood up and got lost somewhere in the crowed. She felt a little sorry that she didn't pay more attention to her, naively thinking that she might would be able to prevent the scene that captured her and everyone else's eye when the loud noise of splashing water centered the attention to the woman in red sitting soaked wet in the fountain while drunk Blondie made sure to flee the scene as soon as possible.

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She knew she owed her sister, so Katrina Clark kept her opinions that evening to herself. In a way she hoped that with her outing at this event the situation between them will somehow resolve and the secrets she kept from Will and Lou will vanish in the air. After all, as she liked to remind herself and her sister, she did what she thought was best for her. She would have lied if she wouldn't admit, at least, silently to herself that she did manage to enjoy the evening more than she would have liked. The music was mesmerizing, the ball room was exquisite, the company was more amusing than she expected and she felt beautifully in the only gown she owned that was already worn out at many different family weddings she attended that Lou did sew for her years ago before they sold her sewing machine from the dark blue curtains that was ages ago decorating their living room. For a moment she dared to imagine a life where she have had made different decisions and where these kind of events where a normal routine for her.

She was even impressed by Steven Traynors remark towards Alicia when she approached the table and made despiteful comments towards her bellowed sister. It wasn't necessary for them to be introduced, the moment she showed up, Katrina knew who she was. Before she was able to stand up and push the anorexic goldilocks down to the ground, Steven took over the situation in a much more delicate way than she would have. No one messes with her sister. Well, no one except her. So, she took a deep breath and a big sip of champagne in an attempt to calm herself down while the rest of the evening flew by more peacefully.

''In case I didn't mention it already, you look beautiful tonight.'' Nathan disturbed her thoughts about pulling out goldilocks hair.

''Excuse me?'' She wasn't sure she heard him correctly.

''Uhm... I just said you look beautiful tonight.'' Nathan blushed a little while repeating himself hoping Will wont overhear his words to make another joke.

''Oh...'' Katrina felt like she got caught off guard. She genuinely didn't remember when was the last time someone outside her family called her beautiful. ''Thank you.'' She managed to whisper in a very shy manner when she turned her head around and noticed that Lou was missing from the chair next to her. ''Where is Lou?'' she interrupted Will who was flying in memory lane with his father recounting an anecdote that was obviously funny to both of them about an event years ago similar to this one.

''She went to the bathroom.'' Will answered in between his laughter. Then he promptly continued with his story. ''Nathan, father was throwing up in the kitchen of the hotel where the charity was located hiding from mother.''

Nathan nervously nodded not really sure what the story was about cause he was previously focusing on Katrina when the firm but tender raised voice of Camilla Traynor took all of their attention. It was only seconds later when they noticed Lou sitting in the fountain.

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His head felt like it would explode, the ground beneath him like it would collapse when he looked at her delicate body soaked wet sitting in a fountain. How could he have been so foolish to let her out of his sight for a second. How could he been so ignorant and not see the seriousness of the situation the moment Alicia approached their table. How did he only dare to be focused for a second on his silly stories instead of her. He should have never let her go not even for a moment. Will Traynor knew he will never be able to forgive himself for this. It was another of the misfortunes that his existence and his world did to Louisa Clark. The only thing that was holding him this moment, if anything was holding him at all were his mothers unexpected defending words.

He just got her back, he just made peace with himself, allowing her to get close to him, allowing him to get close to her, and yet, he already failed heavily. He had one job, he had one task and it was to look after the woman he loved so deeply and yet she found herself in a fountain. When will all the misfortune he brings to her finally stop.

He rolled through the crowed trying to get closer, trying to let her know that he was here, trying to make her see a familiar face. While he was pushing through the crowed, rolling over peoples feet in the attempt to help her she suddenly was carried away right in front of his nose.

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In Louisa Clarks head everything went into slow motion. One second Alicia was attacking her, the other second Camilla Traynor stood up for her, and before she could have reacted anyhow, if she would even know how to react at all, she found herself sitting in a fountain. Her red dress, her whole body soaked wet in water and embarrassment while every single person around her was staring at her in a gasping manner, and everyone who didn't stare at her was pushing forward through the ruthless crowed to get a better peek at the laughing matter that was sitting in the fountain. There was no where to look away, wherever she stared she found unfamiliar faces glancing at her. If you would have asked her, she would have told you that hours were passing by slowly and painfully while she was sitting there.

Somewhere out of nowhere a slim hand grabbed hers and before she knew she found herself getting dragged out of the fountain and running after the hand that was holding her firmly and wouldn't let go. A figure with ash brown hair was leading her through the building and Louisa followed running, somehow she felt comfortable letting that unknown figure lead her.

Somewhere through a slim hall that smelt expensive and Louisa felt bed for leaving a wet mark on the delicate floor the figure led her through a door that hid a room similar to a dressing room behind. She took a seat on the chair that seemed older than her grandfather and gasped for some air when she heard the figures voice: ''What a slimy bitch. Can you believe her?''

Louisa raised her head towards her savior. A young woman, dressed as a waitress with ash brown hair and an very angry face expression. And with eyes that seemed so familiar.

''I am sorry I grabbed you like that, but I couldn't let you sit there while the whole pleasing crowed was staring at you like an animal in the ZOO.'' She said while lighting up a cigarette. ''What a damn bitch that Blondie is." She approached the closet that was standing at the back of the room and took out a few clothing items ''Here, It might be a little tight around the chest but it's better than a wet gown.'' she said while throwing clothes at a confused Louisa.

While still in shock Louisa didn't catch the clothes, they landed on the floor. She stared at them for a moment before she realized she had to pick them up. ''We can't just steal someone's clothes.''

''You are not stealing anyone's clothes. I am lending the clothes to you.'' the girl said.

Louisa suddenly realized the girl couldn't be older than just a teenager. ''You are lending whose clothes?'' she asked suspiciously.

''Mine, silly. Who else's?'' she produced a silent laugh like all this was so amusing to her.

''And what are your clothes doing here?'' Louisa asked with an raised eyebrow.

''That is a long story I maybe get into another time.'' the girl said while a loud knock on the door disturbed their conversation.

 _''Clark? Clark? Are you in there.''_ Wills upset voice was visibly heard on the other side.

''I think it is time for me to go.'' the girl said while opening the window.

 _''Clark? Are you in there? Open the door!''_ Wills voice raised higher.

The girl climbed with one leg out of the window.

''Wait'' Louisa yelled after her. ''I didn't even had the chance to thank you. So, thank you, for saving me from those sharks''

''No problem'' the girl said while putting out her cigarette on the edge of the window with one leg still out of the window.

''I am Lou. What is your name?'' she kept observing the familiar eyes of the silly girl that was climbing out of the window.

 _''Clark? Open the door. I can hear you inside.''_ Will Traynor was persistent on the other side of the door.

''My name is Lilly.'' the girl said before she disappeared into the night leaving the strong smell of a burned cigarette behind.


	19. Chapter 19

On the ride back home from the ball in the luxurious car that left the expensive smell hanging in the air Louisa leaned her head on Wills shoulder. He was caressing her cheek and giving her one of his countless apologizes since he found her in the dressing room. In her lap wrapped in a plastic bag she was holding her red dress that was captivating so many memories on her life in Staithes and the endless sewing she did in her small apartment in order to run away from her thoughts and life back when she thought Will wasn't alive. Until than she didn't realize how much she missed Frannie. While she was staring out of the window observing the buildings that were passing by her, her hometown seemed so still, no one was in sight except one passing figure that resembled the mysterious girl from earlier that evening. Before she was able to take a better look the car was already turning around the corner and the small figure was left behind alone in the darkness of the night.

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She was lying in the middle of the maze using her purse as a pillow. In her hand she was holding a cigarette that she inhaled while observing the bright moon and shiny stars above her. Next to her was a half empty bottle of champagne that she managed to snatch from the pantry before she left the ball. The night was cold but the alcohol was able to fool her body making it think it was warmer. Her head felt a little dizzy from the alcohol and the cigarette but she kind of liked it, when she closed her eyes she felt like she was floating towards the stars. It distracted her from the real struggle she was fighting with herself.  
Will Traynor was not so far away from her, probably getting ready to sleep, she knew he was at home, she saw him earlier passing in the car next to her on the street. Again, she was invisible to him, but wasn't she to everyone? Shouldn't she be already used to it by now? When was the last time her mother was paying real attention to her? All she cared was her husband and her reputation, that she managed to ruin over and over again. For her mother she was just a misfortune that didn't fit in her world but that she would tolerate so that the upper class of England wouldn't gossip.  
She was a misfit, everywhere they send her she had a hard time to fit in, it was hard to get rid of that stigma. She didn't belong anywhere, and she didn't know how to belong anywhere. Loneliness was her only friend in her young life fulfilled with mistakes and delusion. There was no chance she would ever admit that but she was begging for a chance of approval and love. Was Will Traynor her chance? Could she have the courage to tell him who she really was? Could he love her and give her what she needed?  
It was painful to imagine what would happen to her inertly if he wouldn't.  
While a warm tear slid down her face, landing on her cheek her phone rang in her purse that was still under hear head. When she took the phone out to to her surprise the display said "Grandma calling".

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Katrina Clark closed the front door behind her leaving Nathan on the other side. She stood there for a few moments leaned on the door taking a few deep breaths to help her get rid of the tiny butterflies that settled so comfortably in her stomach. She touched her lips with her fingers where she wished she would have felt his if she only had the courage. In her mind she played their silly conversation in her head over and over again.

''I am sorry what happened to Lou and that you are stuck with me as a ride back home'' Nathan said while opening the car for her.

''I don't mind your company'' she said shyly ''I just wish to twist Alicia's head if I had the chance''

''I know what you mean but I hope you managed to have a good time regardless to that incident'' he was focused on the drive but wanted to take a peek at her.

''I did actually had a lot of fun, but if you tell that to Lou, I will deny it'' she said through laughter.

''So did I, but if you tell that to Will, I will deny it awell''

''Your secret is safe with me''

When they arrived in front of the Clark house he accompanied her to the door in order to steal a few more moments with her. When she said ''goodnight'' and disappeared on the other side of the door he was disappointed with himself that he didn't kissed her. When he sat down in the car and left towards his apartment he replayed their silly conversation over and over in his head.

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''I hate myself for what happened tonight'' Will was holding Louisa tightly in his arms on his bed in the annex.

''I told you already so many times. It was not your fault. And I have no interest to have this discussion anymore'' Louisa was serious. She just wanted this incident behind her.

''I know, but I feel responsible to not taking better care of you'' Will couldn't hide his disappointment.

''I love you Will, but I can take care of myself. What happened with Alicia is on her. I want this situation behind us'' she said sincerely while kissing his cheek ''seriously, I don't want to talk about this anymore''

''Okay'' Will gave out a loud sigh as a sign of his defeat ''What do you say about a trip?''

''A trip?'' Louisa asked curiously.

''Yes. Somewhere, wherever you want. Just you and me. New memories. No incidents. No one that we know. Just the two of us on a adventure''

''That sounds amazing. But are you able to go on a trip yet? You have all your therapies still going on a daily basis''

''I will be fine, I am sure I can pass my therapies for a couple of days and do an intensive home workout instead'' he smiled but then he got serious and added ''Please Clark, let me do this for you. Let me surprise you and make you happy''

''I am already happy, Will. I have you, what can I ask more for?'' She leaned closer towards him and kissed his soft lips.

''Just one trip, Clark. Let me have this. Okay?'' he whispered into her mouth.

''Okay, I am in. But we have to go through everything with your doctor and Nathan''

''Yes, yes'' Will rolled his eyes and pulled Louisa closer and got lost in her kisses.

After an emotional connection of their bodies and a intensive orgasm on top of Will Traynor Louisa managed to peacefully fall asleep leaned on Wills chest. That night she dreamed about a waitress with brown hair offering her a trip to Spain.


	20. Chapter 20

The fresh wind was blowing strongly leaving Goosebumps on her skin while the autumn sun was shining above her. She was enjoying a cup of tea on the generously big balcony of the room at the 5 stars hotel in Barcelona. In front of her, the Mediterranean sea was majestically spreading into infinity, merging is royal blue colors with the light blue colors of the sky. If there weren't for the clouds you wouldn't know where the sea stops and the sky begins.

"Are you enjoying yourself?" Wills voice interrupted her peaceful meditation.

"Every minute of it" She turned her head towards him while he was wheeling to her.

"I am glad" he genuinely said while taking her hand into his.

"These past four days here in Barcelona flew by so quickly" she said and for a moment hesitated to continue "there is something that was bugging me"

"Oh, yeah? What is it?" Will raised an eyebrow.

"Well, don't get me wrong. I cherish every moment we spend here. And this town is majestic, so wonderful, vibrant and full of life, but when I told you to pick a town, I was certain you would have taken me to Paris. So many times you have told me to go there and experience the culture. How come you decided to come here instead?" Louisa asked while enjoying the warmth of his hand that was holding hers.

Will looked away for a moment, lost in his thoughts, observing the sea. "Paris is the past" he finally said.

"What do you mean?" Louisa was genuinely confused.

"Indeed, I told you many times to visit Paris, and one day we will make our way to Paris, but the reason why I didn't chose it is because Paris represents what I used to be. Who I used to be. I still love the town and the culture, but back than I had different values. My Idea of an excellent trip was to climb the biggest mountain, get drunk and get as many girls as I can. Everything under was unthinkable. Me and you, we deserve our own town, our own adventure. Me with you, is a different person, a better person, with better values. I don't need a favorite town. A favorite place, every place is a favorite when I am with you"

Louisa gasped while listening to his words. He spoke so honest and truthful. She loved the connection they shared. The passion and love the felt for each other. Anywhere in the world. She knew he was right, places wont matter as long as they are together.

He raised her hand that he was holding when she noticed the shine coming from her finger. She didn't even notice when he slipped it on her finger. He gave her his sassy smile when he saw her shock and confusion and then he said "Will you marry me, Clark?"


End file.
